Manic Monday

What do you do to make yourself feel better when you are sick? Lots of sleep, whining, and chicken noodle soup with fresh crushed garlic and cayenne pepper. Also, I’ve taken a recent liking to Emergen-C. I’m not sure that it’s actually doing much, but even the placebo effect is worth it. I don’t get truly sick very often (as evidenced by my large build-up of sick leave here at work: 276 hours at the moment, and I take a decent amount off for doctor’s appointments), so whining often occurs.

What is the most amazing weather you’ve ever seen? The weather in Arizona was simply beautiful, much more… majestic than anywhere else I’ve lived. I’m not sure if it was the elevation or the humidity or what, but lightening and storms were so much more beautiful. Plus, since we were much more “in the middle of nowhere,” it seemed a bit more raw. Arizona is one of those places that isn’t really beautiful until you’ve had some sort of bonding experience with it, but once you have, it carves out a little place in your heart.

Do you listen to music or talk radio in the car? Music, definitely. Right now, mostly KTIS, the local Christian radio station, which is a relatively recent change for me, but I like the positive nature of all the DJs and the music is definitely encouraging. Also, it seems less soccer-mom these days, but maybe that’s just me getting older. Truly, though, I think that Christian music has continued to branch out and include a wider variety of genres, and so there’s more rock and alternative (of a good quality) available.

Can’t Help but Wiggle in your Seat

When I’m not listening to my “Unranked” playlist (a Smart Playlist of 25 random songs from iTunes that I haven’t yet given a rating to, for the purpose of listening to them and ranking them, and consequently getting the bad songs permanently off my iPod and the good songs permanently on), I’m listening to my 4s & 5s playlist (A Smart Playlist of all the songs I’ve ranked 4 or 5 – my ranking system is very sophisticated but I won’t go into detail right now). [Editor’s Note: if you want to know how to set up Smart Playlists or how to set up playlists in general on your iPod so that you use it in a good way, just ask and I’m more than willing to share the genius of my system.] Generally speaking, I rarely have to skip a song that comes through the shuffle when listening to this list. Last night I was treated to Journey, for instance, which is a cause to smile in and of itself. This morning, I listened to:

  • Mambo No 5 by Lou Bega
  • Fall Into Me by Emerson Drive
  • Prayin’ For Daylight by Rascal Flatts
  • Hot Stuff by the Pussycat Dolls
  • My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne
  • If You’re Not The One by Daniel Bedingfield
  • Meet With Me by Ten Shekel Shirt
  • Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow
  • A Little Less Conversation by Elvis Presley
  • Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain
  • There Is No Arizona by Jamie O’Neal
  • Everything by Michael Buble

Little room for complaint, really.

Anyways, I wanted to talk about my current “favorite song” (if there is such a thing), “Everything” by Michael Buble. Oh, wow. first introduced me to Michael Buble a year or so ago, and I was relatively unmoved. Maybe it was her gushing enthusiasm that turned me off. I recently rediscovered him and oh my word is his music good (of course, I’m in the right mood at the moment – my other new favorite artist is Andre Bocelli) . “Everything” is a great song – upbeat and light and fun, and I can’t help but dance along when I hear it, and usually end up hitting repeat four or five times before moving on to the next song.

You’re a falling star, You’re the get away car.
You’re the line in the sand when I go too far.
You’re the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you’re the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it’s kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don’t pretend, that you don’t know it’s true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing.
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.

You’re a carousel, you’re a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You’re a mystery, you’re from outer space,
You’re every minute of my everyday.

And I can’t believe, uh that I’m your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we’ll see it through,
And you know that’s what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing.
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.
You’re every song, and I sing along.
‘Cause you’re my everything.
Yeah, yeah

Catching Up

Have I been out of touch with the world, or has it been out of touch with me? I don’t even know.

The semester is almost over, thank goodness. I have 1-2 more papers left for Politics, Markets and Civil Society (I’m a bit confused as to whether or not that second paper has been canceled). I have half an assignment and a final exam for Geography. Both classes meet three more times. Whew! It hasn’t been a hard semester, per se, but I haven’t exactly enjoyed it. Especially the Geography part. Next semester will be significantly easier. There were only five classes being offered that I could take, three have already filled up, and one probably will before I can register. So I will just spend my time… getting our house ready to sell or getting my stuff ready to move or making baby blankets or something.

I might have mentioned that we joined a gym the weekend before last. All went well for a while – I worked out for six days in a row (don’t freak out – I rotated between cardio and strength training, and I can only do like 20 minutes of cardio before dying), and then I injured my foot on Thursday. It’s still not back to normal. So on the plus side, there are a few minutes of each day that I have to spend doing other things, but on the minus side I am not working out, losing ground I’d gained, and have to get my remaining 5 workouts for the month done in 10 days (because we get a $20 credit each if we work out 12 times a month). Plus, I’m getting tired of wearing this ankle brace (not really sure if it’s even helping, since it’s an ankle brace and I hurt my foot, but whatever). Sunday I was at 90% of “optimal,” and then yesterday I was back down to 80%. It would help if I never had to walk anywhere, but that’s not exactly realistic (which is why I felt so good on Sunday – I was a lazy butt).

We had my family over for brunch on Saturday, which was fun. Mom wanted to get a picture taken of all of us for her Christmas card, so we posed for that:

Josh, Grant, Alison, Mom, Prince Charming, and me

Grant tried out Guitar Hero, where he rocked out. Or, rather, he quickly became disinterested.

[pic removed]

What else did we do this weekend? We dropped some stuff off at Goodwill (and our house has been without a Goodwill pile for over 24 hours for the first time in a very long time), stopped at a store to get some stuff so I could start working on Amanda’s Christmas present. Actually, stopped at a few stores for that. Went to Macy’s to get some Christmas decorations (because I can never own enough of those). What didn’t we do? Go grocery shopping. Didn’t go last night either. At some point this will be a problem, and that “point” could be tonight around 5:30. We’ll see.

Last night I worked on homework, and a little bit on the new blanket that I’m making for Sarah’s baby boy (who was born on our wedding day, so a gift is long overdue). Yes, I said “new.” The knit one I was making, while very cute, was just taking way too long. I showed it to Mom over the weekend and she loved it, but the fact is that it had months of work left on it and there will be another baby to give it to. So Prince Charming helped me pick out new yarn and a new pattern (which I eventually ditched for a different pattern idea) and now I am crocheting a blanket, which will hopefully go much faster. I need to start working on making a scarf for my Grandma for Christmas.

Sunday night we spent a bunch of money and got our trip to Alabama all arranged. That’s right, I said Alabama. Actually, we’re flying into Pensacola, which is in Florida, so maybe we’ll just call it our trip to Florida. Prince Charming’s cousin with my same name is getting married, and we were invited to the ceremony which will remove her from the pool of people with my name. We got a hotel in Pensacola, which is about half an hour from the wedding. Originally, we were going to fly into Mobile, but it’s way more expensive to go there and also about half an hour from the wedding, so it was kind of a no brainer. We rented a car too (Prince Charming was hoping to get something cool like a Mustang, but the price difference was just too much), and hopefully will spend one of the days exploring Mobile (which is apparently “the place to be”). Prince Charming’s dad and brother are driving down, which might be my definition of insanity, but is totally understandable considering how expensive flights are down there. We were happy to be able to do the whole thing for under $1000.

This, of course, means that I will not have a “normal” work week until well into December. Last week was weird, with the holiday and then the statewide staff meeting. This week is short due to Thanksgiving. Next week is only four days long due to our trip to Alabama, like the week following it. The week after that life returns to normal, I think. Only by that time we’ll be full into the Christmas holiday season and nothing is ever normal then.

Last weekend when we did grocery shopping, I bought a box of Fruit Roll-Ups to enjoy with my lunch. I have become quite addicted to them. It was Prince Charming’s idea, only he ended up buying some generic brand of Fruit By The Foot, which is no good at all. I, on the other hand, could have consumed about a billion Fruit Roll-Ups by now, they are so yummy. I haven’t, but I could. I’ve had major sweet tooth cravings lately – sugar, instead of my usual chocolate. What’s up with that?

In the blog world, the author of one of the blogs I read just broke up with his girlfriend of two years, and another author just got engaged. Actually, that’s the second blog engagement lately (of those blogs I read). And another got married a few weeks after we did. Sometimes it seems like the whole world is doing that. Then I remember that this is not the case, and life returns to normal.

But speaking of marriage etc, I ran across this article [link removed] yesterday in the Strib that I could relate to on a couple of different levels. On one hand, I acutely remember being single and having older relatives ask me if I was dating anyone, trying to hook me up with relatives with weak or non-existent blood ties, etc. And I remember hating it, as if people seemed to think that the only way I was ever going to be happy was if I was married. It comes from a good place, this sentiment, because really people just want you to be happy, and they see marriage as a good way to get there. It just doesn’t always come out the right way. And I love the Bridget Jones’ movies (well, the first one was quite good), and am appropriately horrified every time she has a conversation with her friends over her marital state. I hope that I don’t turn into one of those people who tries to get all their single friends married. Probably more annoying than those people who have kids and try to get all their friends to get on that bandwagon, but I have several of those in my life, so we can all share that pain. Single friends, you’ll let me know if I become that annoying person, right? I totally respect your right to be happy in any way you see fit, whether that be as a single person, someone in a monogamous relationship, or a married person, and am quite happy to help you achieve whatever state it is you’d like to be. I hope I don’t pressure you to be something that you’re not. Smack me upside the head if I do that.

Lastly… because I know this has been a long post, has anyone used bookr before? It’s supposed to work with Flickr, which I’m just starting to use in a very limited fashion. We got the photos from the reception photographer back yesterday, and we’re looking at a way of making them easily accessible to all our loved ones. I don’t think bookr is the answer, I think Flickr is, but at this point I’m just rambling on about vaguely related things.

ATL (After the “Lastly”), I am loving “Bubbly” by Colbie Caillat. You can Google that to watch a video on YouTube, which I can’t access at work, so that link might be total crap, or you can go to her MySpace page (which apparently I can get to from work) and watch the video there.

Wednesday Mind Hump

Last album/CD/mp3 listened to: my iPod says… that my last song was “Don’t Tell Me” by Avril Lavigne. It’s on shuffle.

Last book read: Girl Soldier: A Story of Hope for Northern Uganda’s Children

Last food eaten: Glazed donut from Holiday

Last beverage drunk: French vanilla cappuccino from Holiday

Last movie watched: Um… I’m not sure. Maybe Prince Charming can help me out with this in the comments?  Of course, that could be difficult since he’s having problems accessing this blog right now.

Last item bought: Sour Patch Kids to munch on while doing homework

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Voyage :: of the Dawn Treader
  2. Patricia :: Boss
  3. Transformation :: butterfly
  4. Vocabulary :: large
  5. San Francisco:: good times
  6. Edward :: Scissorhands
  7. Sawyer :: Brown
  8. Literary :: Target
  9. Tiger :: Lion
  10. Seal :: Cub

That should go on my iTunes wishlist…

Stuck in my head right now? “I hate the world today…” Know what song that’s from? One that I don’t particularly care for and haven’t ever wanted to own, but it seems appropriate today. It’s “B*tch” by Meredith something or other. I can’t exactly look that up at work.

Anyways, computer problems still abound at work. I’m back on the laptop, and I have printer access now, which is something new. But everything in general is frustrating when it’s not your machine. I’m stuck without the programs I need and forced to use inferior and irritating programs (cough cough Internet Explorer cough cough). So I’m pleasant. Plus, there’s a meeting tomorrow that seemingly everyone forgot about (including myself), so there were a lot of last-minute requests for documents to be prepared, photocopied, etc.

And it grates on me every time a co-worker comes by and says, “Still no computer yet?”

Here’s a happy thing from last night, though. I was reading my Real Simple magazine that arrived yesterday, an article on preventing osteoporosis (basically the numerous things you should do to protect and build bone density). They had it broken down by decades, starting with things to do in your 20’s. What made me happy was to read the first item under things to do in your 30’s. (I’m paraphrasing here…) “When you’re pregnant, make sure to take prenatal vitamins.” How nice for the expectation to be put out there that 30’s are a perfectly good time to have kids, in this time of my life when many of my friends have had babies or are having babies, and all of them are under 30. I don’t feel the tick-tock of the biological clock, but I am aware that 30 is just around the corner and that other people have expectations that they occasionally try to impose on me. (It doesn’t often work well, but it sure does frustrate me to no end.)

I slept like crap last night. I couldn’t fall asleep, and then just when I did, Matea started to paw at the back of my neck, which awoke me enough to realize that I hadn’t actually been asleep. I looked at the clock – 2:30. No fun. I should do alright on the quiz tonight in class though. I studied.

Wanna place bets on the idea of me forgetting that we have a meeting tomorrow morning and missing my 7:45 bus?


I’m moving. Now, before you get too excited, you already knew that. You know, some time in the next six months. In the last 24 hours, however, Prince Charming and I looked at a map and picked out where to start looking for an apartment, and our service worker brought me up six empty boxes from shipping (the ones that hold reams of paper), and promised that there were “tons down there.” I’m afraid that he’s going to bring me 6 every day until it’s empty. But that’s OK. Boxes are good. I’ll bring some home on Monday night and see what I can box up. Now I just need to decide if it’s worth it to pack them and put them in the basement, or if I just want to start a nice stack in the front room. Perhaps this is worth of discussing with my roommates, ya think?

Still no computer yet. Not even an email asking me what software I need installed. So, it looks like I’ll be taking the early bus home. Prince Charming is going out to a movie with his dad and brother, so I might spend some time tonight playing the piano, checking out my as-of-yet-unused Pride and Prejudice soundtrack book. Or I might read a book for fun (I brought Mr Darcy Takes A Wife… hmm, notice a pattern?). I don’t have any homework this weekend, and I couldn’t find a knitting project to bring. Clearly, this is a problem. I suppose I could just… sit on the couch and watch TV without multi-tasking. To repeat what Prince Charming said last night, “how in the world did I spend my time before I went back to college?” He’s right – what did I do? I watched more TV and paid more attention to it, that’s for sure. And I read books and knit. And… hmm. Well, before I met him, there were those three years that I worked 12-20 hours a week at the church. That took up some of my time too.

I get to see Grant again on Sunday! This makes three times in 8 days! Amazing. And Alison emailed me more pictures – very cute. Have a great Easter!

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Trembling :: Fear and
  2. Shut up :: and kiss me (thanks, Mary Chapin Carpenter!)
  3. Heights :: Wuthering (I need to read that one)
  4. Monica :: and Chandler
  5. Delicious :: Surprise (ala Jo Dee Messina)
  6. Joint :: Hip
  7. Ferry :: Boat
  8. Bliss :: -ful
  9. Rejection :: is a b*tch
  10. Satisfying :: Coke (it’s April!!)

Tuesday Twosome

I’d never…at least I don’t think I would ever

  1. List two items of clothing you would never wear again. Skinny jeans. Anything with shoulder pads.
  2. List two food items you would never eat again. That 100% Ghirardelli chocolate bar. Eggplant.
  3. List two types of music you would never intentionally listen to again. Rap. Banjo.
  4. List two TV shows you would never watch again. Dirt (that new one on FX). Rescue Me and Nip/Tuck tie (also on FX).
  5. List two beverages you would never drink again. Um… can I say orange juice? I must have had it when I was a child at least once, but I can’t remember ever consuming it. Also… certain restaurant’s margaritas.

Thanks for the memories

As of about an hour ago, I have officially lived in Minnesota for 5 years. (I tend to have these grand, life-changing moments happen on memorable dates, but that’s another post.) December 1, 2001 I woke up at Dad’s house in Illinois after having spent the day before loading my UHaul up and driving it from Detroit to his house (with his help, of course), my car in tow. We hopped back on the road and drove to Eden Prairie, arrived at the church-that-remains-nameless, met a youth group full of kids that helped unload stuff into my office, then into my temporary housing, and finally into my storage unit. Then we called Alison, went out to eat at Chevy’s (because, having only lived in Minnesota for 2 hours, the best I could do was find the Eden Prairie mall), and started the slow process of assimilating myself to a new life. The next day was Sunday, whereupon I woke up and went to my new church for the first time, was warmly greeted by all, and ate a lot of Twinkies, among other things. I was also gifted a feather boa (in honor of our then-governor Jesse Ventura), a book “How To Speak Minnesotan” and a Twins baseball cap. The baseball cap is the only thing I have left, since the others were either given back (boa) or away to Goodwill because they reminded me of that church.

It’s been almost 3 years since I’ve seen anyone from that church – during the bus strike of 2004, I saw the church secretary at a concert, and I have actually healed from what they put me through (it helped that both pastors moved out of state). I don’t regret the decision to move here or to take the job, because that’s the way life goes. It got me to Minnesota, including paying my moving expenses, and, despite the cold weather that presently looms, I like living here. My life is here now. It has long since felt like home, and Michigan only felt that way for the brief time after I acclimated myself but before the sh*t hit the fan.

New playlist needed

I’ve discovered a new playlist that I need. I’ve got one for when I’m happy, one to make me happy, one for when I’m angry… you get the idea. But now I need one for when I’m annoyed. I’m looking for suggestions of songs to put on it, and/or clever names for the playlist.

“Most Recent” Playlist

It turns out my last iTunes purchase was full of sad songs. I thought I’d weeded out the really depressing stuff and saved it for a later download. (OK, a few songs didn’t fit the mold, and if you’re interested, here’s the rest of them: Kanye West & Jamie Fox – Gold Digger; Sarah Evans – The Secrets That We Keep; The Pussycat Dolls – Wait a Minute; Kelly Clarkson – Walk Away; Toby Keith – Who’s Your Daddy.)

[Editor’s Note: format is as follows:
Artist Name – Song Title

key lyrics

my thoughts, if I had any

Sara Evans – A Real Fine Place To Start

Didn’t know love could run so deep
Didn’t know I’d lose this much sleep

Figurin’ out what love really means
Baby givin’ you my heart,
Is a real fine place to start

The perfect moment when your skin is next to mine

Daniel Powter – Bad Day

You’re faking a smile with the coffee to go
Tell me your life’s been way off line
You’re falling to pieces every time
And I don’t need you to carry on

Kelly Clarkson – Breakaway

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

I think this just continues my post from earlier today about church and faith….

Brad Paisley – Find Yourself (from the Cars Soundtrack)

When you find yourself
In some far off place
And it causes you to rethink some things
You start to sense that slowly
You’re becoming someone else
And then you find yourself

‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it’s just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah that’s when you find yourself

This song is really good, but something about the way he sings it is just really… sad, or maybe just reflective and quiet. I’m not sure. It makes me pause. It also hits on the afore-mentioned desire to find myself, and how one goes about doing that.

James Taylor – How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)

I needed the shelter of someone’s arms, and there you were
I needed someone to understand my ups and downs, and there you were
With sweet love and devotion
Deeply touching my emotion

I close my eyes at night
Wondering where would I be without you in my life

Daniel Bedingfield – If You’re Not The One

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Bedingfield (brother of Natasha, one of my new favorite artists) has a beautiful voice.

Rascal Flatts – Life Is A Highway (from the Cars Soundtrack)

Come ride with me to the distant shore

Just tell ’em we’re survivors

There was a distance between you and I
A misunderstanding once
But now we look in the eye

OK, this is a really energetic song and I looooove it, and it really doesn’t belong on this list because it doesn’t make me sad at all. But a few of the lyrics went along with the theme….

Keith Urban – Making Memories of Us

I wanna sleep with you forever
And I wanna die in your arms

Sinead O’Connor – Nothing Compares 2 U

But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues
`Cause nothing compares
To you

Yes, straight out of junior high, but such a good song sometimes. Really, truly depressing though.

Rihanna – SOS

‘Cause every moment gone you know I miss you
I’m the question and you’re of course the answer

Another really upbeat song, but the lyrics betray the energy.

Sara Evans – These Four Walls

I’m not famous, but my kids think I’m a star
I’m not rich, but I’ve made a million memories so far
I may not be a model, but my man thinks I could be
I may not be from royalty, but in these four walls I’m the queen

I had to let it go, but I have no regrets
I would have never known this kind of happiness

This song just continues my thoughts from a few weeks back about women staying home with their kids and not continuing their careers. I still have… unsettling thoughts on this topic, and am unresolved about the whole thing.

Annie Lennox – Walking on Broken Glass

I’m living in an empty room
With all the windows smashed
And I’ve got so little left to lose

Nick Lachey – What’s Left of Me

Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I’ve never been
Now I’m broken,
And I’m faded,
I’m half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what’s left of me

I’ve been dying inside,
Little by little,
No where to go,
But going out of my mind
In endless circles

If you go on iTunes and look up this album, lots of people will give really positive comments about it. They’re right. It’s fantastic. I may think he’s an idiot for marrying Jessica Simpson and for having that reality TV show, but his music here is amazing. This song in particular, especially if you can forget the whole Jessica situation and listen to it just as a song without context, is fabulous.

Rascal Flatts – What Hurts the Most

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away

No, I don’t actually have anyone that I feel this way about. This song is really about regrets, and I don’t have those. But I understand where it’s coming from, and it takes me back to a time when I felt very similar to this.

Tim McGraw – When the Stars Go Blue

Where do you go when you’re lonely
Where do you go when you’re blue
Where do you go when you’re lonely
I’ll follow you
When the stars go blue

James Blunt – You’re Beautiful

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

Sigh. Can I say more?

Shawn Mullins – You Mean Everything to Me

You mean everything to me
So if there is anything at all
All you’ve got to do is call
And you know that I would
Drive 10,000 miles
Just to show you that I care
Just to kiss your honey hair
And pull you close and hold you
Like a child

Really, here’s what I think is going on. [Editor’s interruption: I’m not sure this post will actually make it online, but perhaps no one will have read to the end of this long post and so it won’t matter?] They stopped providing my meds from Canada, and my prescription ran out. And I’ve been super lazy in getting it refilled here, so, well, I’m out. I was actually out about a week ago, but I’ve been taking a pill here and there, kind of rationing them out. Yes, I know this is bad, and I can’t actually stop cold turkey (it says so right on the package), and all I really need to do is walk over to Walgreens tonight and find out what it’s going to take to fix the situation. No lectures, please.

But in the midst of my laziness, I’ve slipped back (just a little) into what it felt like before I was on meds. It’s just a glimpse, really, but enough to know a few things. One, it is not time to lower my dosage or stop altogether. I am not “better,” as I suspected. 15 years of feeling one way due to a chemical imbalance cannot be completely overcome by 3 years of meds. That’s the honest truth. But two, there is a whole set of… feelings that I no longer experience at all, a whole way of being, a way I could have defined myself, that isn’t a part of me anymore. And while I don’t really want to be the person I used to be, and I know that who I am now is better, it makes me a little sad for that lost part of myself that I can never truly get back. I mean, I can, by going of meds, but I can’t really get it back as just a “part” of myself. It’s all or nothing, and I’m not about to go back to being that person, as much as I miss her, as much as she was a part of me for so many years, as much as she was a much more inspired writer and artist, much more in touch with my inner life… she needs to stay gone. And that’s really hard.

There’s enough people in my life who don’t even know me as I used to be. Amanda does, and held my hand when I first went on meds, but in the four years of our friendship, only one of them was the old me. And I don’t think I was as close to Liz yet. Yes, there’s family, but they’ve known me through everything, and that’s an entirely different perspective. Plus, they have to love me. All my friends from college and high school youth group (mainly Betsy know me before, but I barely know them now. We’re not close, on a day-to-day basis, so they can hardly judge.

I’m not sure if I set out what I meant to say, or if I said anything of [understandable] substance at all. There’s no reason to worry. In fact, I’m leaving work shortly, and I’ll stop at home to pick up my prescription and walk myself over to Walgreens pronto. But, in case anyone read this far… I thought you should know, that’s where I am (emotionally speaking). And I’m feeling… anxious, naked, about having put this out there, but I’m going to be brave.

One last thing before I go…

Well, I managed to make it to 5 today, despite the numerous suggestions that I should go home. I also wrote a paper today, so now I have about 15 minutes of homework left before Monday’s class. The crick in my neck has finally disappeared, only… six or seven hours later. No rush on that one. Regardless, Prince Charming is coming over tonight and will hopefully give me a nice Sven-esque back rub. That is, after he goes for a run, using his new iPod (finally!) and Nike+. I’m jealous (though, yes, I haven’t gone running in, like, a year – whatever; I’m being very self-disciplined and trying hard to not be tempted by this cool new piece of technology that I’m sure Liz would own already if she had an iPod). Sleepy, sleepy, that’s me today. Quick clean up around my house and eat dinner, and then a nice evening of relaxing in front of the TV with my love. Take out the part about having to clean the kitchen, and it’s really quite ideal.

Goal for tomorrow while at work: do not print off any more knitting/crochet patterns. I already have more than I will be able to accomplish in a lifetime, and do not have the time to start new things or money to buy more yarn. Also, perhaps I will buy some new songs from iTunes. That would be nice. My collection is getting a little tired.

All sorts of coolness

While burning CDs this morning, I read Webmaster In A Nutshell, a book Prince Charming had lent me many months ago. And, even though it was written in, like, 1998, and I’ve taken html and related classes since then… I learned stuff. Cool stuff. I’d share, but then I’d have to kill you. No, actually, I’d just be embarrassed because I think some of it I was supposed to know. But no one told me! Now, however, I can be even more awesome.

Yes, surprisingly enough, that is possible.

My birthday

I had a wonderful birthday weekend, even if I was a bit annoyed upon leaving work on Friday. Prince Charming and I ran around doing errands and buying groceries, which means I finally went to Target and got conditioner and light bulbs and a billion other silly little things. And we got wine. Which we then drank. And fell asleep at 10 pm, like an old married couple. Saturday morning I opened my gifts, which included a book on knitting that Mom got me (the one I thought she did), and the DVD I asked for from Alison and a bonus pair of earrings and necklace that are really pretty. Prince Charming got me, strangely enough, exactly what I thought (reference posts from last week). A wonderful Mayan hammock (that has to be exchanged because they sent the wrong color), and a pair of sandals that I’d completely forgotten I wanted (but still really did). We ended up going to the Birk store and getting them in a different size and color (because apparently my feet are even odder-sized than I thought; I had to get narrows). Here they are in all their cuteness:

New Birkenstocks

Then everyone came over for brunch and we had waffles (with a truckload of strawberries and whipped cream, no complaints) and watched Narnia. Prince Charming and I went to Stillwater for the afternoon, browsing all the little shops (which was only slightly disappointing because I usually love to go into the antique stores, but they were all set up with such a vast quantity of stuff everywhere that it was too overwhelming to think about shopping or even walking into them). We watched the lift bridge go up and down for the boats, found some cracked black pepper (that I’d been looking for), tried to buy more wine but were uninspired, and then walked up this huge flight of steps that still have me hurting. (But there was a pretty view overlooking the river at the top, and a house for sale that was surprisingly cheaper than we thought.) We left Stillwater just in time, because it started raining right as we drove out of town. It took a billion years to get to dinner – we were thwarted at every turn, trying to avoid construction and accidents. It was a good thing I wasn’t driving – there would have been some serious road rage. Mom called, and then while we were waiting for our food to arrive Dad called. Note to self: I was born at 5:56 pm. I always forget that Mom tries to call me around that time, so I had been feeling a bit neglected by my family until that point. The good news is that Dad has a new job. Since the beginning of June he’s been working for a landscaping company as management (which explains the larger-than-expected birthday check), and he only has to work M-F 7-4, which is so much better than when he worked at Menards (and now I don’t have to feel so bad about hating their commercials or occasionally shopping at Ace because they have better service). And Candy’s latest test results came back “stable,” which is all that can be hoped for. Back at Prince Charming’s, after going for a walk to shake off some of dinner (steak and potatoes sit a bit heavy and make me want to just veg on the couch) and playing some air hockey, we had my birthday favorite, angel food cake, with strawberries and chocolate syrup (Kahlua chocolate syrup, to be specific). Yum! Sunday afternoon, after a bunch more running around to exchange the DVD for widescreen (silly Alison), get a wireless card for my computer, and swim trunks and sandals for Prince Charming, we met up with Amanda at Liz’s for another birthday celebration. We exchanged gifts (camping stuff and a gift certificate to the yarn store for me, home improvement stuff for Liz), changed into our swimsuits, and hung out by the pool eating ice cream. I’m happy to say that I didn’t get sunburnt at all. After all that fun, we went out to eat in uptown, where we had some wonderful tasting food that gave me horrible heartburn for hours afterwards. Maybe 28 is the magic age where you can no longer truly enjoy food that you like.

Me, Amanda, and Liz

And then Prince Charming was nice enough to install the wireless card in my computer. I repaid him with recorded Star Trek episodes (because he wasn’t accepting “kisses” as a form of payment). Super-tired this morning because of the sun yesterday (not because of the margarita), but it’s getting better. And I’ve found some work to keep me busy for at least another half hour. This afternoon might be rough.

Currently listening to: “Thank GOD we broke up” playlist, because I wanted to hear Kelly Clarkson

Peeve of the moment: co-workers, what else?

What I’m wondering: if I freeze one ice cube at 0* F and another at -100* F, will I have one ice cube that’s warmer than the other, or will they both be the same temperature?