I’ve (half-heartedly) attempted several solutions: eating healthier (yech), eating less (grrrrowl, hungry all the time!), walking (boring and ineffective)… to no avail. I’ve floated other options: taking up smoking, drug use, an eating disorder… you get the idea. None of those are very attractive. (I jest, truly, that I would even seriously ponder any of those options. And while they are all fairly proven-effective ways of losing weight, none are healthy and none of you, my dear readers whom I love, should ever attempt them.)

I’ve pondered becoming content with the situation, but alas, I am not.

There are some other things to consider as well. I don’t actually like exercise, I have determined. Yeah, not a fan. Plus, running seems to make me hurt in bad ways, not that good muscle-burn-you-know-you’re-doing-something-healthy way. And, I actually gained weight after we joined the gym and started working out, and not “muscle weighs more than fat” weight, but “my pants don’t fit” weight. Not exactly motivating. Also, I don’t really like salads, unless they’re covered with things that seem to reduce their healthiness, like ranch dressing and cheese chunks and bacon.

My 3-week experiment with 30 minutes of walking every day (and I was nearly successful with that - the only days I didn’t were those that I managed to do a lot of physical labor anyways) failed miserably, leaving me to my backup plan. My secret backup plan. Which I started last week.

I know, the suspense is killing you, isn’t it?

I’m trying Slimquick. I’ve never done such a thing in my life. It’s drastic, or at least it feels drastic to me (it certainly felt drastic to my wallet, that’s for sure). And I’m not entirely sure that it’s working. Yes, the first day I miraculously lost 2 pounds, which I think was entirely water, but the next day I’d gotten one of them back, and I haven’t really weighed myself since, so I can’t tell you what’s happened other than that I’m still fatter than I want to be.

There was a fair amount of research done before taking such a step. And I was careful and self-monitored (people complain about racing heart feelings and so forth, since it’s got caffeine and other stimulants in it) and promised myself I’d stop taking it if I felt like I was going to die. Which I haven’t. The first day week you take one pill twice a day, and today is the first day of the second week, where you take two pills twice a day (and that’s what you continue on for the rest of however long it is you decide to try to lose weight the easy cheater’s way). I’ll admit, as a person who is fairly tolerant to caffeine as long as it’s before 5 pm, I felt a little jittery that first day. But just the first day. And today, as the second first day (or the first day of the second week, to put it more eloquently), I also feel a bit jittery. If I feel that way again tomorrow, I will reconsider this plan entirely, but I assume that my body will adjust. (The one side effect I have noticed that I haven’t enjoyed is that I feel more nauseous more often, which is something I struggle with anyways, so this plan may be aborted soon if I can’t get a grip on that.)

That was a long bit of me talking just to say… I’m a bit wired and hopped up right now. And there’s no one here at work to talk to or anything to do. Plus, I’m super tired still, because I’ve been feeling like I’m burning the candle at both ends (lots of homework and housework and… whatever will do that to a girl).

Edited to add:

I realize that, at some point, I will have to give up my lazy-a** dream of ever fitting into my pants again without hard work. I will have to exercise and eat salads and baked chicken (goodbye, lovely breaded and fried chicken, goodbye egg rolls, goodbye donuts and cookies and lovely coffee drinks) and a whole bunch of other icky things, because, I will come to realize, I am now over 30 (just a few weeks, really) and my metabolism has surely plummeted and there are no secret shortcuts to being slender. And I will gripe and complain and either decide to buy bigger pants or do the hard work (jury’s still out on that one). And then it will be like other aspects of my grown-up life, where I do things I don’t want to do because they need to be done and that’s what you do, like washing dishes and vacuuming and homework. For now, however, I’m going to keep pretending that I’m 29 and that my secretly svelte self is just beneath the surface waiting for the slightly pudgier version to crumble into pieces or dissolve into nothingness or something similarly substantial-less-ness.

And we’re going up to my in-laws cabin in Wisconsin this weekend, though that doesn’t exactly count as “getting away from it all” to me. Spending the weekend with in-laws, even ones that I like, is not really vacation. Plus, I have a paper to write, reading to do, and a final exam to study for. So, you see, not vacation. But, a change of scenery.

Class last night got me very upset, but I’m trying to get over it, so I won’t discuss it. made it all better, or at least as much as possible.

I have a secret I’d like to tell you. Can you keep it? Promise me, now, that you won’t go spreading this around to my extended family, because it’s supposed to be a secret for another month or so. Promise? OK. I’m going to be an aunt again! Yay! We got a very cute card in the mail this week from telling us he’s going to be a big brother. March, we think, though we don’t know for sure. thinks she doesn’t have to go to the doctor until 12 weeks, so… she’s not. I had no advice to give her on that. Nothing gets made official or public until 12 weeks - they’re careful about that, and it’s probably a good thing. It made me more than a little sad yesterday and I had to have a few “poor me” pity moments, but then I got over it (hugs help). Truly, I am absolutely thrilled to be an aunt, and will love being one again. The first time told me she was pregnant, I was so happy, and I learned something that I’d only heard about. I fell in love with instantly, while he was still a wee tiny little thing inside his mommy. I didn’t know that really happened, but I adored him from the beginning and think he’s perfect (in that completely imperfect way, if that makes sense). And I look forward to that again. Nephews and nieces are great for unconditional love, especially since I’m not responsible for their well-being most of the time and all the hardships are bore by their parents. I just get to love them and think everything is amazing and precious and perfect and wonderful.

This time around, there won’t be nearly so many crazy life events going on, like deciding to move to Minnesota or and I talking about getting married. Selling our house and moving into a new one is a big deal, sure, but not rock-your-world changes, just stressful-can-we-pack-all-this-up-and-where-will-we-end-up-putting-it changes. And maybe some my-cat-is-acting-psychotic-because-his/her-total-world-has-shifted-please-help-me changes. Or I-can’t-find-any-of-my-favorite-stores-to-shop-at-in-my-new-neighborhood changes. Or help-there’s-a-Chipotle-two-blocks-from-my-new-house changes. Or we-have-four-nearly-empty-rooms-in-our-new-house-and-can’t-agree-on-a-sofa-or-paint-colors changes. But not ohmygosh-my-mom-is-going-to-live-45-minutes-away-instead-of-six-hours-how-do-I-cope-with-that changes or am-I-really-ready-to-choose-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-someone-when-I-feel-so-young-still-and-unprepared-but-really-I’m-nearing-30-and-everyone-will-start-thinking-things-if-I-don’t-do-something-soon-and-who-actually-cares-because-I-love-this-person-more-than-I-ever-knew-possible-and-I-know-that-the-future-with-him-looks-better-than-any-future-I-can-imagine-without-him changes.

Whew! Did anyone make it through those? I thought not.

Back to work!

I would complain more, because I just thought of another paragraph to say, but it’s time to leave work for class, so I guess that’s all we get today.

Also, I am very, very tired, which also makes me want this day to be over. Unfortunately, it is my long day, so while I get to leave work in an hour and a half, then I get to sit through two 3-hour classes before finally getting home around 9. Boo.

My really annoying co-worker (who has been on the phone with a friend of his for the past hour and he’s talking quietly so as to not be overheard but that’s really kind of impossible when he’s less than 10 feet away, and when he hangs up he’s going to want to tell me all about the conversation even though I heard all of it and am annoyed by the whispering noise of it all) is going on vacation tomorrow, and it’s not soon enough. I need him to be gone now. And the rest of them, too. And maybe me, because I might just be annoying me now too.

It’s very difficult being me somedays.

What do you want?

Quick, someone hit me over the head!

But, more importantly, I itch. Since last night. And for all of you who just thought, “I thought you already took care of that,” well, you’re wrong. And to the people who’ve actually said that to my face in the last week, you are lucky I’ve refrained from punching you. (Same goes for my coworker who just suggested trying alternative therapies, like acupuncture.) If you think you’re frustrated with my complaining about itching, just think how I feel. I only complain about it a small percentage of the time, when it’s really bad.

I don’t know why I itch at the moment, which is probably one of the more frustrating things. Often I don’t react for several days or weeks after I come into contact with something, so I have no way of figuring out what it is. All I know is that last night I had little bumps on my legs (verified by Hubby), and then I started to itch, and it’s only gotten worse as time goes on. I woke up at least twice in the night to scratch. Today I am wearing a skirt and nylons, which affords me the option of being slightly indecent and spending obscene quantities of time while at work scratching my legs. Earlier in the day it was a glorious feeling to scratch, but now while relieving the itch, my legs also kind of hurt and are irritated, so it is no longer quite as satisfying.

Ooh, 9 a.m., time to take my Zyrtec!

I’m actually enjoying my evening class, though it’s easy to forget that I am when it’s not within 10 minutes of class. I do not like this whole 6-week class thing; it’s much too fast paced, and while my grades will be fine, I’m just not enjoying it as much. Plus, as of this week, we’re halfway through and I haven’t found a place to complete my 10 hours of volunteer work or two people to interview. The class itself is good and fun and I like my classmates (good, since we’ll all be going through the program together), but I just don’t like this whole two nights a week, six weeks long thing. Especially in the summer.

Tonight after work I’m stopping at the pet store and buying a Furminator (and the dry shampoo if I can find it, because maybe it will make stop smelling like a … I’m not sure what, but it’s sure not pretty). People have been talking about them a lot lately on the internet and how great they are, and with our house officially being on the market (or at least sometime this morning), and needing to keep it clean all the time, it would be nice if the cats shed a little less.

I started taking a new multivitamin last week. If you remember, the one I used to take often made me nauseous if I took it on an empty stomach. When I ran out, I didn’t buy any more, so I’d gone without for a few months. I started taking a multivitamin regularly after college, when I became a vegetarian, partly because I didn’t have the greatest diet and it was a way to try to stay healthy (and I am a generally healthy person, in that I don’t often get sick). I still don’t have the greatest diet habits, and in some of the reading I’ve done lately about health, it’s become clear that my diet is obviously lacking in some key things, specifically vitamins and minerals and nutrients that could have been helping my PCOS symptoms (which had gotten worse but are now improving). So, I was at WalMart last week (yes, that big box store I shouldn’t shop at, but I needed cat litter and I was in the Midway area, and it’s the only option these days) and bought the same brand that I usually buy (One A Day), but a different variety. I’m now trying “Weight Smart” instead of “Women’s,” and I have to say that I haven’t really noticed any additional energy boost but that the nauseous side effect is lessened slightly. I’m pretty much fine during the week - it’s just the weekends, when I take my pills all at once at 9 am and then don’t eat breakfast right away, that I have problems.

I would really, really like to be productively crafting, but these days I’m busy with homework. It’s frustrating. I still haven’t started the two papers that are due tomorrow. Like I said, I’m not worried about the grades, since I’m pretty sure I’ll get an A on them, but I do need to actually have something vaguely coherent to turn in.

There is a ginormous bruise on my left calf that I’ve had since last Tuesday. It keeps looking worse. I looked it up on WebMD today and I’m not supposed to be worried unless it doesn’t start looking better at two weeks (it’s officially been one), or doesn’t clear up entirely in 3-4 weeks. Bummer. I mean, that’s good, but it still looks horrible (it about 2 inches in diameter, dark purple, and in the center it is slightly raised with a red spot) and it worries me, even if I’m not supposed to. I’m sure I’m not actually dying.

We might be going up to my in-laws cabin in Wisconsin this weekend. I wasn’t sure it would be possible until I remembered that has a laptop so I could get homework done (i.e. papers written). How is it that almost everyone I know has a laptop and I still never think about the possibility of mobile computing? I am now toying with the idea of having a laptop (at ’s suggestion), if we can find one that is super lightweight (because those things are friggin’ heavy and I already have shoulder/back issues and it would have to get carried around with my schoolwork which already bothers me) and runs XP (because I have no desire to attempt to learn how to use Linux - Mac is hard enough for me to grasp) and doesn’t cost a billion dollars.

Probably should start working on those papers, huh? You didn’t really want to hear my complaint about a co-worker’s idiocy from yesterday, did you?

1. Imagine that you go to sleep one night and mysteriously travel back in time. You are still here on the Prairie-Plains of North America but you wake up in Waterlily’s camp circle. Describe your new role as a man or woman in this society. What is most striking to you about this new way of life? What activities would you expect to participate in? How would you relate to others? What obligations would you feel most strongly? Tell me about your family relations. Describe your hopes and fears. Now consider your life as you are living now. What are the biggest differences? What aspects of life are most familiar?
2. Choose the article in Applying Anthropology which interests you the most. What was it about this discussion which caught your attention? Briefly (in one paragraph or less) summarize the main points made by the author of this article. Now, think about extending this discussion to some similar experience of your own life. Write an analysis – similar to the one offered in this article – to a parallel aspect of your own culture and experience. Describe your own experience and demonstrate how an anthropological perspective can shed light on what this experience signifies. For instance, if you were intrigued by the article on baboon friends, or Tibetan polyandry, you might reflect upon your own attitudes about and experiences with family and married life. You might discuss how the form of family you have experienced FITS (or not) with the demands of the social world in which you live – its values, economy, gender role expectations, etc. If you were interested in the article about male-female communication, you might make observations of your own at work or home and reflect on those. You might contrast “Venus figurines” (ch 14) to Bratz dolls or Picaso nudes. Use the article in Applying Anthropology to help guide your discussion of your life experience. (You may use any article in the book but keep the focus on gender.)

Overlooking the grammatical issues that are often present in our handouts…. Right… in 2-3 pages? Double-spaced with 12 point font and 1.25″ margins? Each of those could easily be 10-page papers! Did I mention that in the Applying Anthropology textbook we’ve read about 20 different articles, though there are about 40 that she says we can choose from.

Talk about open-ended, ambiguous, impossible assignments. I’m so frustrated with this.

• Car load to storage unit
• Two thrift stores, netting me three new shirts, two bedskirts (that were taken apart), one striped bed sheet, and some fabric (oh, and a really cute little vase I got for 50-cents and proceeded to drop immediately upon getting home and breaking - so sad!). CHAP was a much better deal (everything was 50% off the tags, which were super cheap) and better for linens, but Goodwill was better for clothes.
• Trip to Creative Sewing Center, where I decided not to get the expensive foot for my machine but instead to hand-tie the quilt, and got a flyer for some beginner quilting classes they’re having this fall, which I will probably sign up for
• Trip to JoAnns, where I bought some fabric (but not that much, really) and not nearly enough embroidery floss (for tying the aforementioned quilt) and some notions
• I didn’t get to the Farmer’s Market in Apple Valley, but that’s OK because we have plenty of uneaten food from last week’s trips.

Saturday afternoon:

• Leftover pizza for lunch (yum! and thank goodness for toaster ovens!)
• Nearly 4 hours of reading for homework
• Got all the thrift store and JoAnns purchases washed and dried, but not ironed or photographed. That’ll have to wait until Thursday or Friday.

Saturday night:

• Arranged cut out strips for ’s quilt and bedskirt so that I could get sewing when I had a chance
• Went for a walk with to get ice cream - yum!

Sunday morning:

• Got house spotless for photos and Realtor
• Typed up class notes and got caught up on organizing/filing schoolwork

Sunday afternoon:

• Started sewing on ’s quilt
• Ate a very early (3:30) dinner (because we didn’t know how long we would be busy with the Realtor looking at houses and photographing our house, and he was coming over at 4)

Sunday night:

• Visited 2 1/2 houses (just the outside of the 3rd, since the key was missing from the lockbox)
• Got to ride around in a MINI (and while they are still super-cute, I don’t think I want one, because they are very small and I don’t like driving a 2-door car)
• showed our Realtor the house tour he designed, which is supercool, and impressed him greatly
• Decided not to do any more work but attempt to have fun; realized that everything we wanted to do or eat was closed; went to Target and bought some movies; watched Independence Day and didn’t eat ice cream (even though I really wanted to - was hoping for a smoothie and we couldn’t find one)

So, what I didn’t get completed was the two-plus papers (two 2-3 page papers for Wednesday afternoon’s class, and one 5-page paper for Wednesday night’s class that I can’t start until after tonight’s class) and I didn’t finish the quilt for the spare bedroom. But, the house is clean and can hopefully stay that way, since it goes on the market tomorrow.

Today is ’s birthday, and I am quite sure that I will forget to call her, with class being tonight and all. I’m going to try to write one or both of the papers for my afternoon class either today or tomorrow at work. Tomorrow night is my free night, but there is that other paper to write, and grocery shopping to be done, and wants to get the garage cleaned up.

I am in need of a new purse and a new wristlet. The wrist strap on my wristlet is pleather or vinyl or something instead of canvas/twill, and is starting to crack. I know I could replace the strap, but while the purse is cute, there is a design flaw: the vinyl that it’s made of is too thick for my work badge to function properly (because my old purse was fabric and I could keep my badge inside of it and just hold it up to the magnetic door-lock thingy and it would work, but with this one I have to take it out of my purse and hold it up to the lock, and sometimes I don’t have the extra hand). My purse is starting to tear apart at the top, and I’m very upset about that, because it’s less than a year old and was pretty expensive. It was designed for knitting (which is why it is huge and has multiple compartments and I love it for that), so maybe since I was using it for school and carrying heavy things, that’s why it is falling apart? Regardless, I will need a new one sometime in the next month or so. Bummer. I’ve contemplated making my own (either purse or wristlet), but that would involve either installing zippers or being much more confident in my sewing (specifically that it would be able to stand up to a lot of weight, which is tough).