wonderment » good times

Rained out

kelly — Mon, 24 May 2010 16:13:00 +0000

This past week was the annual city-wide garage sale here. It was Thursday through Saturday, and I was only able to go out on Saturday. I knew there wouldn’t be much left (except for the few places that only were “open” on Saturday), but I thought I’d give it a shot anyway. I wasn’t really looking for anything, or at least I didn’t think I’d find what I was looking for (matching side tables for the sofa, the perfect dining room table – neither are easy to come by it seems).

Saturday morning, we went over to the farmer’s market (which is only open Saturday mornings when I would rather be sleeping, but I digress). I got some cucumbers and a bunch of asparagus; we also got some havarti cheese from the local dairy (they had a stand there), and then some fresh sourdough bread from the Breadsmith (and I do mean fresh – like baked just hours earlier fresh). We also bought a few plants (rosemary, lavender, and cilantro).

After stopping at Home Depot, we went home, and I got into my car to go to at least one sale: a church sale. Specifically, the Evangelical Covenant Church here that I’ve been meaning to check out. We drove by once and it was super cute, and didn’t make me hyperventilate or anything. (Seriously, I’ve had some very strong reactions to churches on occasion – having had the experiences I did while working in them, it’s completely understandable, though I admit a little strange.)

The sale was priceless, and they only asked for a donation. Genius on their part, since I gave them more than they would have charged for the items I got. Sadly, it was a really small sale (just one room and part of a hallway). I will still give them a chance as a church to try out, even though it was mostly old ladies. Sometimes those are the only people available to staff such things.

I found this cute tablecloth. Red really isn't my color, but I couldn't resist its embroidery.

Close-up of some of the embroidery. Darling, no?

The tablecloth is stained a bit, so I’m going to see what I can do about that. Nothing terribly big or dark, but it would be nice if it wasn’t stained. Wherever shall I put it?

I also found a nice stack of vintage sheets (I didn't take all of them, just a few) and pillowcases, and "Through the Gates of Splendor" by Jim Elliot. I've been meaning to read that book (since I only know the short version of the story, as told by his wife), and this is a nice, old copy of the book. Also, I found it charming that it has "Evangelical Covenant Church" stamped on the edge. I grabbed the copy that didn't have a library code written on the spine. It's in pretty good shape considering its age.

Though I wasn’t feeling terribly motivated to go to any other sales (though I’d done my research and figured out which ones had the most potential), I was sad when it started raining. Poured, actually, shortly after I arrived at the church. So instead of going to any other sales, I went home, and we had lunch. Turkey and havarti sandwiches on sourdough, with cucumbers. Yum!

I will have to continue keeping a watch on Craigslist for what I’m looking for. If I ever find side tables, I can get rid of the coffee table that I don’t like (it kind of came with the house), and pull the couch away from the wall a bit. I think that will help the “flow” or feeling of the room dramatically. So would a rug, but I have yet to find one I’m willing to pay rug prices for (rugs are expensive!). Paint, some artwork on the wall behind the sofa… I might figure out what to do with that room yet!

Black and Whites

kelly — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:41:17 +0000

I finally got around to making digital copies of some pictures I got from over Christmas. Since that’s all there is to this post, if you’re not interested in 60-year-old Johnson-family photographs, you can just mosey on your way. I won’t hold it against you. (It should be noted that I may or may not get the details about these photographs correct. My mind has a funny way of making new stories out of old ones.)

Dad's parents on their wedding day. This would have been... mid 1940s, give or take?

Now, I never knew Dad's mom - she died shortly before I was born - but I don't think I've ever heard a negative word spoken about her. I love this picture, how happy they look, with that extra detail of the old car in the background. (My version of this is a bit blurry - I might have to re-take it.)

Dad, age 6. Oh my goodness. Look at that smirk. I'm quite sure I've never seen him with such a look on his face. (But wait, it gets better.)

This would be... early to mid 1960s. That's Grandpa, Aunt Shirley, Grandma, and Dad. The glasses, the hair styles.... I love the big smiles, especially on Grandma's and Dad's faces.

This is my Aunt Shirley. What a gorgeous girl! I see we've finally made it to color photographs, and just in time. If I had to guess, I'd say this was at a church camp (it kind of looks like a lake in the background), but I really don't know.

Grandma and Grandpa - no date, but it would have to be mid-1970s. She passed away in 1978. They were a bit older when they had kids - Dad says he doesn't remember her without grey hair. (That would be why I have a 96 year old grandpa - 37 + 28 + my age....)

Thanks for letting me share! They’re up in Flickr for posterity now (and backed up on our server, with hard copies safely tucked away from sunlight). Maybe if I collect the pictures in small enough batches, I’ll remember enough details for them to be worth saving.

Redefined

kelly — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 19:06:48 +0000

Many of you have heard me tell a story about my parents that has already been redefined once. When I was younger (junior high or early high school), one day something happened that resulted in the following being written on the family calendar: “ was right, 19xx.” The next year when copied over the birthdays etc to the new calendar, she copied this over as well. For many years we celebrated the day was right. We thought it was cute.

Years later when I looked back on this (perhaps in retelling this story to someone in an attempt to be cute), I realized that it wasn’t actually a cute story. It was quite insulting, really. ‘s a smart guy. ‘s frequently right. So is . It’s not like one of them was superior somehow (yes, we all have our strengths – what I’m getting at is, it’s not like was always wrong about things and was always right). I realized this after the divorce, however, and things post-divorce look different than when you thought everyone was perfectly happy.

While shopping with had been right (about who knows what at this point), and it got written onto the calendar because he asserted himself enough to point out that he was right and he fought for himself. That was what was really being celebrated.

How many times do you think family/childhood memories can and will be re-written over the course of one’s lifetime?

How about you? What memories have been re-defined for you?

What I meant to post yesterday

kelly — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 14:04:44 +0000

(but couldn’t because my blog was still broken. Also, apologies to and , since this isn’t actually new content to them. I’ll put something up for you shortly.)

My Aunt Shirley died Sunday afternoon around 4. I’ll be going home for the visitation and funeral Thursday through Sunday (carpooling with and her family) and staying at ‘s. Our cousin Katie had called Sunday afternoon and had said the prognosis was “any day now,” which told me over the phone around 3 while I was out shopping with . called while I was driving home at 5 and told me she had died about an hour earlier. The end was really fast, which is good I suppose. She’d only been in hospice care for a little over a week, and they were originally saying “a couple of months,” so I think everyone is a little shocked. actually sounded alright when I talked to him. Everyone was there with her – and , my grandparents, her husband. Her kids are flying in this week (the three that live on the west coast, that is), which probably is why the funeral is so late in the week. and I are thankful, since work and school pressures would have made life very difficult if there wasn’t a weekend nearby.

My aunt was a really great part of my growing up. They lived in the next town over, right by church and we all went to church together (my grandparents too), so I saw them at least once a week, more often later when we were in youth group together, etc. Shirley is three years older than (which is brought up every year at Christmas when gifts are open by age), and got married young and had her son V. She got divorced quickly and was single until she met B, who had three kids of his own (his wife had died in a terrible accident that isn’t really relevant), and he became my uncle and they became my cousins. and I always had an extra gift to open at Christmas because she gave us each an ornament that was just from her (not from the family). She’s the reason my Christmas tree never has any empty space.

She worked in the church office as secretary for a while, and was also the church organist/pianist. Her and B must’ve gotten really close to their 25th wedding anniversary (Katie and are 27 this year, and Katie’s mom died right after she was born, and I think they got married within a couple of years of that). Nine years ago she fought breast cancer (yes, even with her non-existent Johnson breasts like mine) and won. In May she was diagnosed with kidney cancer (a separate incidence, not a recurrence of the breast cancer), had surgery, and started chemo. She was able to be healthy enough to travel to Seattle in July for D’s wedding (Katie’s older brother). She sent me a really nice letter explaining why she couldn’t come to the wedding, and I’m glad I took the time to write her a letter at that point as well as last week to say thank you for the wedding gift. I have no regrets about that.

said “it’s an adjustment” when I asked him how he was doing (or rather didn’t ask him, since it seemed like a stupid thing to ask). He said my grandma is taking it really hard. I’m sure B and the kids are too (and all the grandkids – I think there are seven now, ages 2-10). seems to be alright, but who knows. It’d only been an hour and I’m guessing he was still in shock. I was the first phone call he made.

I’m alright. I have a crap-ton of homework and laundry to do (that I understandably didn’t feel like doing last night) including an unfortunately-timed take-home midterm that will be passed out tomorrow in class. At least we already went grocery shopping for the week and will be around to take care of for me. And thankfully ‘s grandma came over and cleaned on Friday during the day, so the house is clean and I don’t have to think about the vacuuming that I should have done two weeks ago. let me use sick leave instead of vacation leave, so that’s nice, though I start accruing more hours on this next pay period anyways (can you believe I’ve been here almost 5 years?). I can’t wait for the peak load of this semester to be over. I think I’ve got another week or two and it lightens up significantly. OK, I just checked, and it actually doesn’t lighten up until the second week of November. Oh well.

I’m going to go back to studying census data for Eagan (for my Geography homework) and tracking “consumer success stories” and printing mailing labels (for work).

I have not yet adjusted

kelly — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:27:15 +0000

to my new schedule, that is. Every day this week so far I have tried to get it right, but with no success so far. To recap:

Monday:

6am wake up
7am eat breakfast (yogurt & granola)
7:19 miss bus, get Starbucks
7:51 take bus, discover there is no eating or drinking on bus
9:30 finish most of Starbucks, which is now cold
1:30 starving (duh), eat lunch (cup of Ramen)
5pm go home, realize on bus that I am starving, nauseous, and have a headache
5:45 complain to husband who quickly attempts to remedy situation with food (which works)
9pm hungry and munchy, trip to CVS, several Twizzlers consumed

Tuesday

6am wakeup
7am grab breakfast bar on way out door to catch bus
7:19 on bus (yay!)
9am get Starbucks
11:45 plan to get Chipotle for lunch
12:00 thwarted by co-worker’s absence, must now work until 12:30 and skip lunch
12:30 chew gum
1:45 falling asleep in class, on break find Wheat Thins which keep me awake through rest of class
4:30 bus home
5:30 consume soup and salad with husband at table (whoa)
8pm find bag of cookies that the Mike-arita I had with dinner requested to keep it company and consume

Wednesday

6am wakeup
6:30 drink juice and take vitamins
6:45 overwhelmingly nauseous, blame multivitamin-empty stomach combination
7:20 drive to work
7:55 no longer nauseous, eat breakfast (granola & yogurt) in college parking lot
8:20 pick up Starbucks before getting to work
11:30 discard Starbucks mainly undrunk
12pm starving, munch a few Wheat Thins (so as to not ruin my appetite), can’t leave desk due to phone duty (daily from 12-1)
1:30 get Chipotle that I was denied yesterday
2:30 finish consuming lunch, very full
5pm realize still full, plan to get Jimmy John’s for dinner gets tossed, grab Propel and bag of peanuts
5:30 bus to college
6:00 class
6:45 break, eat a few peanuts, find Wheat Thins in bag
8:20 class over, Wheat Thins nearly gone
8:30 drive home
8:55 stop by Taco Bell for dinner
9:30 again overwhelmingly full, consume Pepto-Bismol as a precautionary measure

Today:

6am wakeup (boo, quite difficult this morning)
6:30 eat All-Bran granola-ish bar (they’re yummy!)
7:19 bus to work
9:00 take vitamins
9:30 overwhelmingly nauseous, contemplate alternatives to throwing up while trying to find some food that might settle stomach, consume remaining Wheat Thins
9:45 no longer nauseous, would like to get coffee

Now, arguably there are many factors at work here. But this is what I’ve concluded so far:

Waking up at 6am sucks (but is the grown-up thing to do, blah blah blah – got a notice from the Post Office saying drugs from Canada have come in, so hopefully that will help the situation)
There is no breakfast that will keep me sated until 1 or 1:30 when I used to go to lunch
There is no breakfast that will keep me from feeling nauseous when it is time to take my vitamins etc at 9am (the only solution may be taking them with food)
There are no acceptable lunch options downtown St Paul at 11:30
I have no idea when I should get coffee now that will result in it actually being drank
I have trained my co-workers to expect my coffee break around 11 and lunch break around 1:30, so they take their breaks at times when I probably would like to take mine now that my schedule is different
Cup-o-Ramen, while my easiest workplace lunchtime option, is wholly unsatisfying and not even worth the effort if there’s nothing to add to it
Regardless of when I eat lunch, I’m going to be starving by dinnertime
I will remain tired all day long until about 9:30 or 10pm, at which point I no longer want to go to bed (when will my body adjust to the new sleep schedule? will it ever? I’ve always been a night owl, and while I might be able to train my body to get up at 6am, I’m not sure I can train it to be tired at 10pm)
I am very good at making bad food choices (but we all knew that)

This is why honeymoons exist, of course. Because and I had one whole blissful week of sleeping in and lazing about and enjoying each other’s company without feeling the pressures of work and school. And now, well, I just haven’t been that fun to live with this week. There was complaining yesterday morning about getting out of bed, and this morning I was downright belligerent (almost had a flashback to high school with my parents, which sadly wasn’t enough motivation to get me out of bed). has been remarkably good-natured about getting me out of bed, though he knew what he was getting into on the not-a-morning-person front when he married me. And after work, I have been some combination of grumpy, cranky, tired, and busy with homework. There hasn’t been much time for anything else (I haven’t talked to or since the wedding, and I still haven’t finished unpacking from our honeymoon). So I am looking forward to “date night” tonight, when someone else will hopefully prepare the food (we discussed going “out”), and we can spend some quality time together, even if it is just watching television and addressing thank-yous.

Certifiable

kelly — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 16:36:00 +0000

I’m a little nervous to write this post, because if there were ever any doubts about my geek status, this will silence them all. But…

On digg a few weeks ago was a link to a site that claimed to have retro computer games. I was interested, so I bookmarked it and looked it up at home. They had my two favorites (be patient), plus a few others. So I downloaded them.

Last night, I finally got around to installing them. Oh my goodness. I had so much fun – I was actually laughing aloud in my front room. OK, the Mah-jong sucked and I’d have to find a different version if I ever wanted to play it.

So what was I having so much fun with? “Crystal Caves” and “Duke Nuke ‘em 1.” That’s right, the first one. Because 2 and 3, while making progress graphics-wise, are not what I know. I played these a billion years ago (OK, like junior high, but that was the early 90′s). Not sure if played. That was back when you actually had to shut down Windows 3.1 to the DOS C:\ prompt. And from there you could run these lovely programs. I imagine it was the feeling that people who grew up playing Mario Bros get when they are re-united with it.

Anyways, it was a lot of fun. Just about the only “video” games (are they called video games if they’re computer-only? I don’t really know the specifications for classification) I ever played. There was one with tanks and projectory and stuff that we played at a friend’s house, but only because all 5 of us could actually play. And they were super big dorks. And geeks too, but kinda dorky as well. I digress. If I had a link to the site, I’d post it, so you could go reminisce with a favorite game from your youth, but I don’t.

Oh – Bonus Points to anyone who 1) has played either/both of these games, or 2) owns up to any similarly geeky gaming experiences in the comments.

Don’t Hate Me

kelly — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 19:46:00 +0000

I did some math today (shock and awe, I tell ya) to figure out exactly how hard I had to study for my final exam next Monday. With hoping to be induced at the “end of the week,” (I’ll know more by tonight or tomorrow morning, when she calls/emails, I thought it would be fortuitous to know how much studying I needed to do. Here’s the breakdown:

If I get… then my overall class grade is…
0/100… 84%
50… 92%
75… 96%
80… 97%
85… 98%
90… 99%
95… 99.5%
100… 100% (actually, 100.5%)

So, yeah, there will be no stressing out about this. Sure, I’ll write up my notecard and do some studying, but no stress allowed. Especially since I’ve been averaging 95% on my exams. NO WORRIES.

And before I get hate comments, let me just say that at no time in college or high school was I the one with the best grade, and I never had a 4.0 GPA. I did fine in school, mostly As and Bs in mostly honors classes (except for Chemistry, which killed me), but I certainly wasn’t a superstar. I got an academic scholarship to college, but not the best one. My ACT score wasn’t high enough, though I suspect that GPA probably played into the equation too, and it wasn’t high enough. So there. I can be a superstar once in my life.

End-of-workday humor

kelly — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 22:42:00 +0000

While over at the Dating Dummy, I was referred to this article on “Guidelines for Platonic Friendship” [link removed]. While you all know my opinion about sex outside of marriage… this is very funny. I liked it. In fact, it was almost helpful, if I 1) had any guy friends, or 2)… um… see #1, because I’m pretty sure I broke a few of these rules with my guy friends in college. Quite a few times, actually. This is why people got hurt, myself included. I’m not feeling clever enough right now, but does someone have the energy to pull together a similar list from the female perspective?

Let’s go back to 1996, shall we?

kelly — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 20:40:00 +0000

Somewhere around August 18th, 1996 is where this story takes place. My parents drove me to college to move in. I was a freshman and terribly nervous, and preliminary meetings with my assigned roommate had gone OK, but not fabulously. We were not going to be best friends (in fact, she ended up transferring to another school at the end of the year because Judson was not the place for her). Scores of upperclassmen were hanging out just begging to help take boxes into the dorm for us (it was a service I was to provide for the next three years as a Student Senate officer). All moved in, there wasn’t much left for my parents to do but go home (a whopping 30 minute drive if you go the speed limit – 15 if you’re really “talented”). But, there was something later that day for parents that they were waiting around for, so they decided to go “out” and would come back later. I unpacked boxes, made my bed, probably hid from people and wasn’t terribly social (sound familiar? maybe I haven’t changed that much in ten years). They came back a few hours later with snacks for my room, because we hadn’t thought of that. Included was a bag of Snyders of Hanover pretzel pieces (this is the only thing I remember) in Honey Mustard and Onion flavor, which I adored at the time (despite how gross they sound, they’re fabulous). I think they got me some other stuff for my room – ah, yes, they bought me a window air fan. So sweet.

I bought a big bag in the Skyway last week and have been slowly munching on them. They remind me of… a different time. Not necessarily happier, but definitely more innocent.

I’d post some pictures from 1996, but I’m at work and don’t have any here. Bummer.

Today’s Frustration

kelly — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 18:22:00 +0000

So, of the two history classes that Hamline will let me transfer from St Paul College being offered this fall, my options are to take the Thursday night one (which I’d prefer not to do) or to do it online, which I didn’t want to do for a history class (economics, however, I’d gladly take online).

Which originally had me questioning if I should just give up on Hamline, since Bethel will let me transfer several of the other classes. Looking into it further, however, that doesn’t actually give me any more choices for a class this fall, unless I take one during working hours.

So do I give up on St Paul College then? Try something besides history? Take another semester off? If I take a class at Metro State, transportation home from a night class is a nightmare. (And even with the addition of a bike in my life, there’s a freaking huge hill to be surmounted from downtown up to my house, and things get cold and icy around November, and that just doesn’t seem like a viable option.) (Furthermore, even if I owned a car this wouldn’t help, since I’d have to bus to Metro State directly from work, and then bus home anyways.)

Will somebody please just tell me what to do? I’m tired of being a grown-up and having to make these decisions for myself. I’m tired of putting my life on hold, tired of my current job, tired of the frustrations that not majoring in anything transferable bring about….

If it were an option, I’d just take 9 months off from my job and enroll full-time at one of the local colleges and just get all that undergrad stuff out of the way. But seeing as how I’m not independently wealthy, and would feel incredibly bad leaving my current job…. that’s not going to happen.

Oh, plus, to muck up the waters more, the “tuition due date” is in 10 days. Of course, you can add a class up until 5 days into the semester, which gives me until about the 25th of August, at which point I could probably find most of the tuition for one class. August just kinda snuck up on me – this summer has gone by quickly, and I just haven’t been able to save the money up. Cuz, you know, rent and groceries are important.

Wow, what a whiny sob story. My apologies. All in all, it’s not a huge problem, given all the things that could be wrong in my life. I could be starving or homeless or an unwed mother or dying of an incurable disease or in an abusive relationship or… I could go on. So really, this whole “difficulty starting down the path to a new career” problem is just a speed bump.

And I know is just going to pipe in here and tell me to contact about the website designing job, because that could pay for a class right there (potentially, or at least pay for a credit), and she’s right, I should (I’ve been avoiding doing so all week). But that still doesn’t clear up scheduling conflicts and general frustration with my options.

It’s really just too bad that my first career option made me so unhappy, since I actually enjoyed doing it (if that doesn’t sound contradictory, I don’t know what does). Maybe if I knew how to work a crowd or schmooze or play along or didn’t have strong opinions and ideas about all things church-related, I wouldn’t have gotten so burnt out so quickly. But that’s a lot of maybees. And maybees don’t really get me anywhere, do they.

I don’t regret my undergraduate degree choice, or the five years post-college I spent in ministry. I had a great time in college, made great friends, learned a lot, and grew as a person. And all of my jobs after that, at least I learned something about myself, if nothing else, and I grew a lot spiritually (for a while, at least). I was doing what I was supposed to do (I mean that God-wise, not society-wise). And I don’t regret taking the last year off. It meant I could emotionally recover from that last job, and spend more time with and my friends, and could relax and have free time for the first time in a looooong time. I’m just getting frustrated that the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel seems to be fading, getting further away, instead of closer like I want it to be. Like quicksand, slipping through my fingers and out of my grasp.

[Editor's note: I'm not actually having a bad day, nor am I in a bad mood. Just needed to get that rant into words and out of my head. Plus, this way, I don't have to rant separately to the three of you who I know read this. Lazy, I know.]