I’m feeling indifferent today. It started with missing the 7:00 bus (by about 30 seconds), followed by a dentist appointment at 8:00. He removed a very large filling in the very back left and replaced it with an even larger one. I am still sore, and was instructed not to eat with that side of my mouth. On the plus side, I didn’t actually experience any pain this time (except for the inevitable chapped lips and neck cramp).

Last night, I was 15 minutes late to class; it was a first for me, and I hated every moment until I arrived in the classroom. I was the 6th student to arrive, out of 8 total. The professor decided that even though the university says class goes until 8:30 pm, it will actually go until 9:00. Not happy about that, but I will try to get over it before our next class, which is in two weeks (thanks, MLK Jr!). One can only hope that tonight’s professor won’t try the same thing. I will revolt. FYI, driving downtown Minneapolis at 5:30 is not very much fun, especially if there’s something going on at the Convention Center. Boo.

While getting ready for bed last night, I finally figured out why I hadn’t been able to sleep the night before. It might have had something to do with the 1/2 bar of Ghirardelli that was part of the desert made (and it was oh so delicious that I ate it all), which probably had way more caffeine than I have consumed in any given month in recent history. Oops. Totally didn’t think that one through. (BTW, it seems as though crappy chocolate has less caffeine in it than the quality stuff. Good thing I’m not that picky when it comes to chocolate.)

I still have not scheduled the haircut I desperately need, the massage I want, or the meeting with my advisor that I was told needed to happen (though I think it is ridiculous to meet again to discuss the plan that we created together in September). I am not feeling phone-friendly today, so those things will probably remain undone until tomorrow.

is going over to a friend’s house to meet a new baby, so I’m just briefly stopping at home to pick up my backpack and change into jeans before grabbing some fast food and heading to class. I’m hoping I’ll get there way early, and can, by trial and error, figure out when I need to leave the house in order to get to class at the right time. (5:30 is not the answer.)

Also, class last night kind of terrified me, in the “I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing here, and it seems like everyone else knows what’s going on” sort of way. I was trying to remember if I felt that way about youth ministry when I was doing my undergrad, and I don’t think I did. I had spent enough time volunteering that I knew what was going on (in my 19 year old arrogance) and was just “biding my time” until I was “old enough to be taken seriously” (I actually said that more than once – ah, youth, you are so funny). So is it the experience, the innocence/arrogance of youth, or something else? Is the “what the h*ll is going on?” feeling good? Should I embrace the clueless feeling? Will it go away quickly?

All of my classes up to this point have been either content area (history, geography, economics, etc) or very introductory courses to urban education. Last semester was a freshman-level course at a community college, which is about as easy as they get (about the equivalent of junior year of high school, in my experience). Last night’s class was a 400/600 level, meaning senior/graduate level. Tonight’s class is also 400/600 level. Friday’s is thankfully “just” a 300 level course. What was my advisor thinking when he made this schedule for me? It feels a bit like my freshman year at Judson when, because of some college credit I transferred in, I ended up taking classes with seniors instead of other freshmen because it’s what “worked.” It was a bit more fun then, though every bit as intimidating.

Lastly, I would really love it if someone would figure out a solution to involuntary blushing. It makes me feel like an idiot (which inconveniently makes me blush more). I’m not nervous or embarrassed. I have no conscious control over the blood rushing to my face. Maybe a pill or a cream or something? Anyone?