Things I Could Happily Live Without

Following yesterday’s post “Things I Cannot Live Without” comes this list. Most of these are things that I would gladly live the rest of my life without ever again experiencing or coming into contact with. Some of these things I truly despise, and others are just minor annoyances. I’d love to hear your list in the comments.

  • “Love Shack” by the B52s.
  • Onions and tomatoes.  (Tomatoes could be given a pardon for their use in spaghetti / pizza sauce.)
  • People loudly doing [fill in the blank] on the bus.
  • Ever being asked when we’re going to have kids.
  • Dogs. (But I know I’m alone in this.)
  • Cleaning the bathroom.
  • The shortening of daylight hours in the fall / winter. I’d be perfectly content if the sun rose every morning around 6 and didn’t set until 9. Those days in December / January when it rises at 7 and sets at 4:30 are rough.
  • Acne.
  • Frizz. Also, split ends.
  • That chronic pain in my right shoulder.
  • Love handles, spare tires, and other jiggly parts (on myself – the rest of you can look however you want).
  • Bellybutton piercings. Ew, ew, and ew.
  • Distance. Why is it that we haven’t invented transporters yet? I would really like to be able to see far-off friends more often (meet their kids and spouses, go out for coffee, see their homes, get caught up outside of what’s appropriate for Facebook).
  • Emails in which a parental unit discusses kissing.
  • Weeds.
  • Having to meet new people. Not that new people are bad. It’s just that many situations in which one meets new people are awkward and scare me silly, such as parties, meet and greets, finding a seat in the cafeteria….
  • Beer. I keep trying, but the only ones I really tolerate (as in, can consume an entire can/bottle) are Corona and MGD 64. And I would be just fine if those went away.
  • Belts.
  • Profanity.
  • Vomitting.
  • Most of those uncontrollable baby bodily functions (and consequently having to… clean them up).
  • Grammatical errors and misspellings. Also 98% of all internet lingo.
  • My current job. I mean that in the most respectful way possible. I have no desire to be a stay-at-home anything, but my current position is not exactly fulfilling.
  • Allergies. Most definitely skin ones, but I’d be happy without the others too.
  • Water sports.
  • Regret. And guilt.
  • Hangnails and broken nails.
  • Overheard whispering.
  • Swimsuits. And sunburn.