I was over at Such a Pretty Face this morning (which I think someone who reads here reads) and liked this post so much that I’ve stolen it and made it my own. Don’t worry, I’ve given credit where credit is due. And all the italics thoughts are mine, not hers. For that, you’ll just have to hop on over to her blog.
23 signs that you’ve grown up for good
- Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them. I currently have 3 houseplants that I purchased a week and a half ago. They’re alive, but their future looks iffy. I have never been good with houseplants, or really any plants, indoors or out, in pots. In the ground has worked well for me though.
- Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. Well, yes, but not for the reasons that it’s listed here, I’m guessing. If I believed that sex outside of marriage was OK, I’m pretty sure I could make a twin bed work. But what do I know.
- You keep more food than beer in the fridge. I’ve never really liked beer. I don’t think I’ve ever bought beer, actually. A Corona once, at a restaurant. Maybe one another time at a restaurant. I’ve had one or two at a party. So, yeah, there’s more food in my fridge. Although currently most of the food in there owned by me is expired, and almost all of the cheese is attempting to create life.
- 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. Oh, yeah. When I graduated college, I quickly learned that I could no longer pull all-nighters, except in very rare cases which were more insomnia than anything. I haven’t done that in years. No, 6 am is not my wakeup time, because I am a lazy butt and not a morning person, but I would love to get there someday. I’ve been proud of myself this week for getting in to work before 9 every day that I didn’t have class. Woo-hoo! (Baby steps here, folks. Don’t set the bar too high, or I’ll definitely fail expectations.)
- You hear your favorite song in an elevator. I can’t remember the last time I was in an elevator that plays music. Do they still do that? The stairwell at college plays music in the morning, but it’s not my type. And I’m not really the easy-listening kind of girl, so… probably not.
- You watch the Weather Channel. No.
- Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.” My friends marry and have babies, lots of babies.
- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. I haven’t had 2 weeks vacation saved up since I started this job four years ago. But before that when I worked full-time at the church, I had that. Now I earn my on a paycheck-to-paycheck basis, and I currently have 22.5 vacation hours and 161.75 sick hours. That’s almost three vacation days, and a little over 20 sick days, for those of you who didn’t want to do that math.
- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as dressed up. No, but they’re a preferred outfit of choice, since I can’t wear jeans to work, unlike all my friends.
- You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo. We had to do that two summers ago because our next door neighbor, who is older than we are, was blaring hard-core rap (complete with mandatory swearing every other word) after 10 pm.
- Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. No, not really, but the last two Christmas Eve’s at my Grandma & Grandpa’s house, the adults have 1) sat me at the adult table instead of the kid’s table (I know, I know, such a shock at 27), and 2) told stories about alcohol, which was unnerving.
- You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 2 pm. I watch too much TV.
- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. Well… since I don’t have a car (and finally paid off my old car last January), I also don’t have insurance. So I suppose you could say my rates went down. And I’m sure at some point I’ll need to get a car again, so then my payments would go up. Does that count?
- You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers. Ew. McDonalds? Gross, even for me. No, gets Iams, on rare occasions she gets a packet of wet food, and even rarer I’ll give her a tiny slip of people food, which she will then not eat. She likes to sniff at it though. She doesn’t eat people food.
- Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. Not so much my back as my neck, but that’s ‘s couch, which is a 2-seater, not a 3-seater, so you can see why that might be. And my couch, which is long enough for me, is covered in about three feet of crap from armrest to armrest, so… I probably get negative points for that.
- You take naps. I used to, before I worked 9-5. That really puts a cramp in my napping schedule. OK, on weekends I occasionally get to sneak one in, if I’m really tired, and goes for a jog or wants to clean his garage.
- Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. The number of times I have been on this type of date is… none. Can that be right? Thinking back… even to high school… I’ve gone to a movie for a date (with ice cream afterwards), and I’ve gone to dinner for a date (with some activity afterwards, occasionally just watching TV at someone’s house), but never actually the dinner-and-a-movie combo. , is that right? Am I forgetting a time that we did this? Oooh, I hope not. I’d feel bad if I forgot.
- Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. No, that would not upset my stomach, and in fact might settle it down, or at least appease the hunger gods long enough to let me sleep, if I were up at 3 am. But I can’t remember the last time I was awake at 3 am. I did have tacos for dinner on Wednesday night after I got home from church at about 9:30, and my tummy liked that very much. I only get stomach aches and nauseated when I don’t eat.
- You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. Let’s see… I have never bought condoms or a pregnancy test, for the obvious reason stated in #2. I buy antacids at Target, but to keep in my purse for . I have a rather large stock of ibuprofin, Excedrin, and aspirin. The last time I was at Walgreens, I bought… food and Cosmo magazine. What does that say about me, other than I was hungry?
- A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good sh*t.” I don’t think I’ve ever had $4 wine. $6 wine, yes, and it can be good on occasion, though the last cheap White Zinfandel I had was pretty bad.
- You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. Definitely negative points here. I don’t eat breakfast, or if I do, it’s Starbucks, or occasionally a bagel and cream cheese at about 11. And when I have milk in my house, I’ve been known to have cereal for dinner, or a late-night snack.
- “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.” I’ve never drank enough to say either of those phrases.
- 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. The maker of this list obviously was not aware of the nature of my work.
Roughly speaking, I think I scored… 46% grown-up, loosely interpreting the questions and answers. Not bad for being 28.