3x Thursday

  1. In general, are your friends your age, or are they older/younger? If they’re not your age, why go with the younger/older crowd? My Minnesota friends are all younger than me. My college friends are exactly the same age as me. My one friend who doesn’t fit in that category is , and she’s a year older than me. It just kinda happened that way. is a kindred spirit, so age has been irrelevant. The people I met in Minnesota just happened to be younger than me, and in college we were a small enough school that we knew everyone, but a regimented enough major that you really kinda stuck to the people in your class. Plus, by senior year, most everyone was working off-campus and engaged/married, so that made it difficult to forge additional relationships. Oh, and I was a student mentor, so some of the kids in the two classes below me had been in my mentor group. And, all the guys were eternally interested (the single ones, that is) in the current freshman class, and the rest of us were kinda chopped liver.
  2. Do you believe that age makes a difference in certain situations? Why/why not? Sometimes it does, but “relative” age difference. Like some people have had enough experiences or the right kind of experiences so that they’re older than their age. Or, the inverse, haven’t had any life experiences at all, and are still 12 years old. I think it’s this… experience of the world that makes a difference in relating to each other, not so much the year we were born in.
  3. What about in relationships? Does age matter? Why? [Assuming we’re speaking on dating relationships specifically.] Yes and no. I think relationships with huge age differences are a lot more work, because you don’t have a collective generational memory or as many shared experiences, and may have to spend more time explaining yourself or what you mean. But, those things can be overcome if you work at it. Usually, small age differences (a couple of years) don’t really matter, unless the relative age difference is larger.

Bonus Question for Comments: Do you think that how you resolve conflict changes with age? Why/why not? I think how you resolve conflict changes with experience, which is generally acquired through time, which means one ages, so… yes. I know that I am not so good at dealing with conflict, mostly because I rarely experienced it growing up. So most of my life has been spent avoiding conflict, or minimizing it, or pretending it doesn’t exist. As I’ve grown and had experiences and (hopefully) matured past my childhood home, I’ve come to realize that perhaps that is not the healthiest way to deal with conflict. And so I’m slowly changing my ways. (Emphasis on slowly.) And I can only hope that, as I age, I will continue to get better at it. I also hope that I won’t, at some point, stagnate and get stuck in my ways, which is the way that older people get stuck in their ways. And while I understand why that happens and how comfortable it is, it isn’t necessarily healthy.

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