Zen

Sometimes, without even planning on it, my walk for coffee turns into a zen experience. I don’t know if it’s the weather, or if I’m wearing the right clothes, or if work and/or the outside world become so overwhelming that it’s the best way to cope… but it just happens. I leave my building, and my steps slow. They are still with purpose, direction, but without drive. I usually don’t have a sense of urgency about my breaks, since they’re time away from work and shouldn’t be characterized by the need to get back, but I still usually walk at my own pace, which is a bit faster than a “stroll.”

And as my steps slow, everything seems to focus inward, as if there is a steel rod running vertically through my body and everything is drawn towards it. I am completely aware of my surroundings, the noises and smells and people around me. But they don’t affect me – they just roll off of me. I am not one with the world, but one with myself. I am no longer a collection of bones and muscles and limbs and organs and thoughts and feelings, but… one.

My thoughts still, my mind and heart grow calm. I breathe a bit deeper, my shoulder muscles relax, and all the annoyances of work… just don’t seem to matter at the moment.

And then I get back to work and somebody messes it up. Or, like today, I get back into the building only to realize that at some point during my zen-ness, my ID badge (with bus pass) has completely disconnected itself from my belt clip and… is gone. Perhaps it is off to find its oneness. I wish that it were part of my oneness, but alas.