Cause and Effect

I have discovered several causes of wardrobe malfunction. Long strides (really, all walking in general) and going up stairs. Oh yeah. And for anyone who thinks a garter belt would solve that problem – you obviously haven’t tried to use one. I will have to apologize to for scoffing at her hatred of them. I now understand.

Oh, and one other cause. The kind I like to buy are no longer made, so I’ve been buying what are apparently inferior thigh-highs. Or at least ones that aren’t tall enough. Or something.

Or my thighs might not be big enough. But no woman on the face of this planet in the entire history of time has ever thought her thighs weren’t big enough. Seriously.

So I will avoid stairs. But I’m doing OK today, really. Not like you care. Not like anyone will get to read this today anyways.