To: State of Minnesota
Thanks for the day off. It was just what I needed.

To: City of St Paul
Re: Snow Emergency
First of all, 6 inches is not an emergency. Secondly, there have been two snow “emergencies” this season, and both have meant that on days I wouldn’t normally have to get up early (one Saturday and one holiday), I’ve had to trudge out in the snow before 8 am to move my car. If the next snow emergency could be on a day I’d have to get up on anyways, that’d be great.

To: The check-out guy at Office Max
Thank you for flirting with me as I purchased legal pads and pens. It made me feel sexy the rest of the day.

To: Dr Barry Sears, creator of the Zone Diet
Could you please create some recipes with flavor?