Epiphany (not the good kind, either)

So last night I went to Hamline for an information session on their MAT (Master of Arts in Teaching for Initial Licensure) program. After watching the video (trying to sell us on Hamline, which, quite frankly, since they’re the only school I know of that offers a master’s for initial licensure, I didn’t need to be sold), they split us up into groups for what we were interested in. The MAT group (there were others, like for people who already had their license, people looking for a doctorate, people interested in ESL, etc) was by far the largest, though I’m pretty sure most of the people there were looking to start in the fall, which gives me a little bit of a head start. The professor leading the group had us pair up with someone we didn’t know (pretty easy for me, since I didn’t know anyone there) and just learn a little bit about them, why they were considering teaching, why Hamline, whatever.

So this guy next to me turned around and we introduced ourselves. Gotta admit, he was a decent-looking guy, 20-something, and generally not creepy. Found out he had gone to another local school for his undergrad (in Religious Studies, graduated just a few years ago, after me but not too much) and shared why I was there. No big deal. Then we had to introduce each other to the group (would have been nice if we’d been told we were going to do that before the interviewing began, but whatever). Then there was a long dissemination of information about the program. To be honest, I probably didn’t need to have gone to the information session. I would have been fine just applying and then getting my questions answered by my adviser, since none of them really would be answerable until after I was accepted.

Finally the professor stopped talking and started taking questions. A guy from the front row got up to leave, and so then the professor wanted to pass out some handouts before he left (which I saw as a great time to leave myself). Through the handout process, found out that the guy I’d interviewed was interested in teaching the same subject matter as myself.

I’d spent a lot of the Q&A time convincing myself that I could say, it was nice to meet you, to this guy (I have issues, I’ll freely admit). However, when the time came, I felt in a huge rush, and just threw my coat on, grabbed my stuff, and ran out without making eye contact with anyone. While walking out (berating myself for not saying goodbye to cute guy), I figured out that I could have slipped him my number if I had thought about it. Stupid girl, I am sometimes.

So, getting to my epiphany… I am single because, while I meet very few guys my age at all anyways, the ones I do meet I run away from. What the h*** is my problem? I have no problem with pre-existing guy friends, and sometimes even friends-of-friends are OK. Definitely guys who are in serious relationships or married are no problem.

I’m never going to get married, am I? Or at least, not without serious therapy.