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Sorry to be so boring

Unfortunately, the only posts I’ve managed to get around to lately have been of the fill-in-the-blank types. Well, let’s see if I can add some actual quality stuff here. (Don’t get your hopes up.)

Flew home, had Christmas, lazed around a bit, flew back. I don’t recommend American Airlines. Delays both ways. It’s a pickin’ one hour flight, and both times my delays were… one hour-ish. Yeah. However, the trip back it was cloudy the whole way, and as we flew over the clouds, it looked like we were flying over the ocean. An ocean of… cappuccino foam. An ocean without waves, but it was still gorgeous. And it was really cool to look out over this ocean of clouds (that were so thick it took us several minutes to fly through them upon descent) and see shadows of still larger, higher clouds on the lower ones.

Other than that, not much is going on. Work. I went to Barnes & Noble last night and got some cool stuff with the giftcard from (I’ll have to talk about that later).

Got some cool stuff for Christmas, most notably a digital camera from . More exciting was that everyone loved what I gave them, which felt infinitely better than having received cool gifts.

I plan nothing for New Year’s Eve. Maybe I’ll stay up late enough to watch the ball drop, but I might just go to bed. No, it’s not sad, it’s choice. I really don’t like parties etc, especially the whole New Year’s Eve thing and kissing someone at midnight (which I’ve never had) and driving with all the drunks on the road and so forth. I haven’t done anything for New Year’s Eve since… sometime in college, when and I went, with her parents, to some friends of her parents and had a little shindig.

I’ve been outbid again on ebay. I’ll be busy with that until the close of work.

Have a safe holiday! I’ll be back on the 3rd of January, 2005!

Trigger #120: Tsunami Victims…

  1. What do you think you could do to help the survivors of Asia’s Devastating Tsumami? My cousin Katie and her husband Mike who are living there right now requested prayer. “*Pray for the millions of homeless, *That aid can get to where it is needed the most, *For rescue workers who are going to help *For families who still don’t know where their loved ones are *That there will not be outbreaks of disease and sickness (due to the displacement and death of so many people) *And pray that God will use this opportunity to open the hearts of Indonesians to Christ and his love”
  2. How would you help if you were there when it happened? I’d like to think that I would get right down into the dirt of it and help, and that I’d be able to overcome my “issues” with germs, filth, and disease.
  3. In what ways could you help from home? See question #1.
  4. How did you feel when you first heard about this tragedy? The first I heard about it was from my Aunt Shirley who told us that Katie & Mike were safe, so I didn’t worry much after that. I should probably feel more compassionate towards all those who are directly affected, but knowing that the people I love are safe has tempered that a lot.
  5. How do you feel now watching the death toll rising daily? It’s very sad, and completely unnecessary in this day and age. I know that a large portion of the world doesn’t live at the same standard that the US does, but I don’t think it has to remain that way. I know that there are worries about retaining culture and so forth, but I think that there are ways to do that while also advancing technologically and in terms of medical safety, etc.

Today’s Word of the Day
hoary (adjective) [HOR·ee, HOER·ee]

  1. showing characteristics of age, especially having gray or white hair: “Holly patted the hoary head of her beloved sheep dog.”
  2. covered with fine whitish hairs or down; ‘hoary leaves’
  3. ancient; ‘hoary jokes’ adverb form: hoarily noun form: hoariness

Origin:Approximately 1530; from English, ‘hoar’: gray with age, grayish-white, from Old English, ‘har’: gray, venerable + the suffix ‘-y.’

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. holiday:: Christmas
  2. fault:: no
  3. beep:: honk
  4. bubble:: gum
  5. needle:: haystack
  6. fare:: bus
  7. treat:: candy
  8. express:: limited
  9. webcam:: ewww
  10. capital:: city

F. Scott

“Not at all. I’m interested. I used to have a theory about these people. I think they’re freezing up.”

“What?”

“I think they’re growing like Swedes – Ibsenesque, you know. Very gradually getting gloomy and melancholy. It’s these long winters. Ever read any Ibsen?”

She shook her head.

“Well, you find in his characters a certain brooding rigidity. They’re righteous, narrow, and cheerless, without infinite possibilities for great sorrow or joy.”

“Without smiles or tears?”

“Exactly. That’s my theory. You see there are thousands of Swedes up here. They come, I imagine, because the climate is very much like their own, and there’s been a gradual mingling. There’re probably not half a dozen here to-night, but — we’ve had four Swedish governors. Am I boring you?”

“I’m mighty interested.”

“Your future sister-in-law is half Swedish. Personally I like her, but my theory is that Swedes react rather badly on us as a whole. Scandinavians, you know, have the largest suicide rate in the world.”

From “The Ice Palace” by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Trigger #119: Scents…

  1. What is your favorite scent? Probably vanilla.
  2. Can you get your favorite scent in a candle, spray or plug in? Yes, definitely, all of the above.
  3. What do you use to make your home smell good? (ex: spray, powder, candles, incense, oils, stick ups or plug ins). I burn candles. I have a deodorizer thing by the litter box.
  4. What scent do you dislike the most? Why? Really strong cinnamon I don’t care for. Anything too floral I find… annoying. Oh, and B.O.
  5. Is there any natural scent that you really wish they could bottle? Fresh air. A day at the beach. The clean smell of the air when you’re out in the middle of nowhere hiking through a forested mountain.

Today’s Word of the Day

reprobate (REP-ruh-bayt) adjective Depraved. noun A wicked person. verb tr. To disapprove or condemn. [From Middle English, from Late Latin reprobatus, from reprobare (to disapprove), from re- + probare (to test, approve), from probus (good).]

Sweaters

Well, as cold as -9 degrees Fahrenheit is (with a wind chill of 25 to 30 below zero), it is sunny today, and for that I am thankful. We still don’t have snow. We’re not likely, and neither is Chicago, so it seems I will not be having a White Christmas. However, I don’t think that I’ve had very many white Christmases, so I won’t be missing too much.

Apparently, since we’re working on a skeleton staff today, they decided not to heat the building. It’s freezing in here! My fingers are cold, my coffee chilled long before I could finish all of it, and I’m afraid for Sequel over the long weekend. He’s a tropical fish, after all. I hope he’ll be OK.

Conveniently, I get to leave in a little over 90 minutes to go get my massage. I’ve never had one before, and am a little nervous, but thought it was worth it to pamper myself before the holidays. I’m not especially tense, but that right shoulder with the chronic muscle pain is bothering me. Winters are generally worse on my back, just because any time I spend with my muscles tense (as in waiting for the bus, warming up the car) is bad and aggravates the problem. HMOs don’t really cover chronic problems, and they’re not really interested in letting me go to a chiropractor once a month for the rest of my life. So, a massage it is.

I’m also nervous about leaving the kitties home alone. I feel so bad – at least they don’t know what Christmas is, because then it would be especially cruel to leave them all alone. As it is, they’re pretty oblivious. The upstairs neighbor can check in on them Saturday night, and is back on Sunday, so they should be well taken care of. It’s a good thing has a cat, though. I will miss mine terribly. It’s worse now that they’re really mine, and not shared with .

This will probably be my last post until next week. has dial-up, so I probably won’t be posting (and if I do, it’ll be short) while I’m at home.

I keep running through the list of things to do tonight. I’ve already printed my boarding pass and gotten cash from the ATM. My PDA is charged, but I need to remember to grab the charger to bring with. The headphones are already in my purse. I need to finish packing, lay out clothes for tomorrow, find a book to read, re-paint my nails, and get to sleep early (I’m worried about the 5:14 bus ride). Wish me luck!

Trigger #113: Support Groups…

  1. Have you ever been to a support group for anything? If yes, what support group did you go to? Surprisingly enough, I have not
  2. Do you know of any support groups in your area? Do you know which ones they are? I know that AA (as well as others) meet in several local churches. There are several GLBT support groups for teens that I know of, as well. My church just started a grief support group.
  3. Do you think that support groups serve a need for people in the community? Definitely, especially for those who have problems they can’t talk about with family/friends, or whose problems are family/friends, or those who don’t have family/friends.
  4. How could you benefit from a support group? I think it’s always beneficial to know that there are others going through what you’re going through.
  5. Have you ever thought of starting a support group in your local area? If yes what support group would you start? How would you get started? No, I have not. Well, unless you count the parents’ group that we just started at church.

Today’s Word of the Day

eremite (noun) [AIR·ah·miet']

  1. a recluse, especially a religious recluse: “Modern society deeply disturbed Jamie, so he chose to become a new age eremite.” adjective forms: eremitic, eremitical

Origin:Approximately 1250; from Middle English; from Late Latin, ‘eremita’: hermit.

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Perfect Gift:: impossible
  2. Santa:: fake
  3. Lucy:: & Linus
  4. Buckets:: of Rain
  5. Recital:: Piano
  6. Stamp:: Book
  7. Teacher:: Apple
  8. Matchbox:: Smoking
  9. Spit:: Ball
  10. Feeling:: Fine

Trigger #111: Hobbies/Crafts…

  1. Do you consider yourself a crafty person? Sometimes. I go through phases. Last year I was in a bead phase. Other times I’ve been in home decorating phases, sewing my own clothes phases, and taking pictures phases. Am I particularly good at any of these? No. But being creative helps me think better, and can get my mind off other stressors if needed.
  2. What kind of crafts or hobbies do you like to do? List all of your hobbies and/or crafts that you like to do. I like interior decorating (as evidenced by the re-arranging of the furniture in my bedroom this weekend, for the fourth time since I moved in late September). I’m hoping that roommate will teach me to knit sometime this winter – tried years ago, but she’s left-handed and I’m not, and it just didn’t work. I’d love to be able to paint, but I seem to have no talent in that area.
  3. Have you ever sold anything you’ve made? No, not that I can remember.
  4. Did anyone teach you how to do this or did you teach yourself? If someone taught you how to do something who was it? taught me how to sew (along with some help from Home Ec in junior high).
  5. Do you make things for other people and give them as gifts? I have been known to. Last year I made a necklace for for Christmas and she loved it. I also gave beaded snowflake ornaments to a bunch of people. For Christmas a few years ago I made a recording for both of my parents (of me playing the piano, which is a creative exercise, depending on how you look at it).

Today’s Word of the Day

ascetic (noun, adjective) [ah·SET·ik] noun

  1. a person who practices self denial as a spiritual discipline adjective
  2. practicing great self-denial: “I cannot seem to convince my ascetic husband that you don’t have to sleep in a tent when you travel.”
  3. pertaining to or characteristic of an ascetic or the practice of rigorous self-discipline; ‘ascetic practices’
  • adverb form: ascetically
  • Origin:Approximately 1646; from Greek, ‘asketikos’: laborious, from ‘asketes’: hermit, monk, practicioner, from ‘askein’: to exercise, to work.

What Crappy Gift Are You?

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost.You make a good puppet.Is it bad if I'm actually wearing the above socks today (only in pink)?

Dream Experts

I’m drinking a hazelnut mocha from Starbucks in memory of the two Ferrero Rocher chocolates I had for breakfast (so that’s how she keeps her girlish figure!).

I’ve been having… well, not nightmares exactly, because I’m not waking up in terror or sweating or screaming… bad dreams lately. Apparently I’m a little stressed and don’t know it. A couple of nights ago, I dream that a co-worker confessed his “love” for me and I had to let him down (which was very reminiscent of a similar situation I lived through in college, but that’s a story for another time).

Then I dreamt that it was Saturday afternoon and I realized that I hadn’t made the last of my recruiting phone calls for bell-ringing for the Salvation Army. First I thought it was OK, until I realized that my first time slot, from 10:00-12:00 had already long passed, which caused me to think I was a failure.

Finally, I dreamt that I was on the bus in the morning, and as usual, I was running about half an hour late, which was fine until I realized that it was Christmas Eve and I was going to the airport, and being half an hour late would not work very well.

So… dream analysis? Is it I feel that my life is out of control? Or that I’m missing out on stuff? Or I’m under-achieving? Or does it mean something entirely different?

Blah Blah Blah

Seriously, is anyone really interested in what I have to say, other than me? But, to quote Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail,

“I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So goodnight, dear void.”

I’m trying to figure out what we’re going to “purchase” with the donations collected at last night’s youth group Christmas party. We collected $102, which is more than last year’s $78. There are so many options, though. Last year we bought a goat, but this year, with more money, and so many choices, I’m just not sure. So far, I’ve narrowed it down to:

  • 10 fruit trees for $45
  • Clothe 5 homeless US children – $25
  • 2 Rabbits – $15
  • 10 Ducks – $20
  • Feed a village for a week – $80
  • Bed for a child – $75, and
  • Immunize a child – $25.

I want us to give gifts that are long-lasting, not just one-time shots. Even the choices like “send a kid to school for a year” just somehow fell short, because what about next year? The goat was great last year because it provides milk for the family, can have babies that can be sold, and so forth. I also wanted to do a whole gift, not just a “share” of something, even though those things are big and are important. I wanted to pick things that the kids could relate to, could understand the importance of and feel good about. I’m just torn now. I wish I had money for all of it.

Tomorrow night is the Staff Christmas Party. This is the third one since I’ve been there, and I’ve managed to not go to the other two. This one, however, I feel I must go to, even though I hate parties like this and going places alone, etc. I “most likely” won’t be working there next Christmas, so I should probably do this. The first year, I thought I wouldn’t be there that long and so I didn’t want to go. Last year, I copped out, crying “sick” and generally just feeling antisocial. Grunt.

However, to make up for it, Saturday is ‘s birthday celebration. Quarter of a century, folks. Not sure yet what we’re doing, and I have to bail early to get enough sleep for on Sunday, but still should be a good time.

Rockin’ out to: James Taylor, A Christmas Album (available only at Hallmark)

Wisdom Source: I’m not reading these days. My brain is on strike.

Today’s Wisdom: Don’t eat yellow snow.

Remember This Poster?

[Link]

If you remember, it’s hanging in a very public place, basically right after you get off the elevators (or elelators, as some people prefer), so everyone walks by it, regardless of which department you work in.

Today, as I walked by, I noticed a bright pink Post-It directly on the poster. I had to look closer. It says, and I quote,

“We do not like this poster.”

Made me laugh all the way to Starbucks.

I’m like an onion

Taken from Kazoofus

LAYER ONE:

  • Name: Kelly Johnson (yeah, try to Google that one!)
  • Birth date: June 24th
  • Birthplace: St Charles, Illinois, at Delnor-Community Hospital when it was still in St Charles and not in Geneva. The building’s gone now.
  • Current Location: My 6×6 cube at work, downtown St Paul. It’s pink. Yeah.
  • Eye Color: Grey-blue
  • Hair Color: Red
  • Height: 5 foot 8
  • Righty or Lefty: Righty, though fairly ambidextrous just because I’ve played piano for so long
  • Zodiac Sign: Cancer (ain’t that just a kick in the pants)

LAYER TWO:

  • Your heritage: Swedish (OK, only 25%, but it’s the most-practiced), French, Norwegian, and a little Dutch with something else
  • The shoes you wore today: my Indeed brown ones from Marshall Field’s
  • Your weakness: lots of them – where to begin?
  • Your fears: the dark, icky bugs (yeah, , I know that “all life has value,” but it doesn’t need to be valued near me)
  • Your perfect pizza: Spinach-Garlic-Mushroom
  • Goal you’d like to achieve: To be debt-free (ah, the American dream!)

LAYER THREE:

  • Your most overused phrase on AIM: don’t use AIM.
  • Your first waking thoughts: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  • Your best physical feature: haven’t a clue
  • Your most missed memory: a bunch of stuff from college, as in I miss those days, not that I can’t remember them

LAYER FOUR:

  • Pepsi or Coke: Right now, Coke Classic. Traditionally, Diet Pepsi.
  • McDonald’s or Burger King: Wendy’s.
  • Single or group dates: I don’t date.
  • Adidas or Nike: Asics
  • Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Not a big fan of either, but as long as it’s sweetened w/lemon, I’ll take it
  • Chocolate or vanilla: depends on the mood.
  • Cappuccino or coffee: Eggnog latte – I go for the “fancy” drinks

LAYER FIVE:

  • Smoke: No
  • Cuss: No
  • Sing: Yes – especially while in the car – feel free to laugh the next time you drive by
  • Take a shower everyday: Um… if I wake up early enough, then yes. I’ve been known to go days without, however.
  • Do you think you’ve been in love: yes, a couple of times
  • Liked high school: No. My parents wish they’d sent me to a Christian high school instead of our public school. My time there was… less than pleasant
  • Want to get married: Yes, but not planning my life around it
  • Believe in yourself: Usually, but not always
  • Get motion sickness: Used to all the time, including on the way home from church (a 15 minute drive) when I was a kid. Now, I’m almost never the passenger, so I’m not really sure.
  • Think you’re attractive: Depends on my mood.
  • Think you’re a health freak: No, really not. I own (and consume) more sugar and/or chocolate products than is healthy
  • Get along with your parent(s): Now that I don’t have to live with them, yes
  • Like thunderstorms: Yes, very much so. Especially dancing in the rain.
  • Play an instrument: Piano (almost 20 years). Guitar (not well).

LAYER SIX:In the past month…

  • Drank alcohol: Yes, a lovely bottle of White Zinfandel for Thanksgiving
  • Smoked: No
  • Done a drug: only prescription ones
  • Made Out: That’s funny
  • Gone on a date: That’s just sad
  • Gone to the mall?: It’s Christmas, so, yes, including the horrible day-after-Thanksgiving experience I’d rather not remember
  • Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: I don’t actually like Oreos
  • Eaten sushi: Yes, and it’s yummy
  • Been on stage: Yes, and not just school plays. A couple times in college during chapel. Open Mic with at the Coffee Grounds. I’ve ran a few church services including preaching.
  • Been dumped: Only twice. I’ve done much more dumping.
  • Gone skating: Of course. My ice skates are currently in storage, but they’re somewhere in my house.
  • Made homemade cookies: Yes, yes, yes, though I don’t make fantastic ones or anything. I rather enjoy making pies and bringing them into work
  • Gone skinny dipping: No
  • Dyed your hair: Last night, in fact
  • Stolen Anything: Yes, a pen set, when I was in 6th grade, from a family friend’s store.
  • You sound boring: You have no idea

LAYER SEVEN Ever…

  • Played a game that required removal of clothing: no
  • If so, was it mixed company: no
  • Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no
  • Been caught “doing something”: no – that would require ever having “done something”
  • Been called a tease: not to my face
  • Gotten beaten up: no
  • Shoplifted: see above
  • Changed who you were to fit in: isn’t that what junior high is all about?

LAYER EIGHT:

  • Age you hope to be married: I try not to box that up, lest I be disappointed, or unprepared
  • Numbers and Names of Children: none. I’d like a bunch, maybe all through adoption (depending on whether or not I can actually have kids – the jury’s still out on that)
  • Describe your Dream Wedding: casual, casual, casual. I want to be comfortable and have a good time. I don’t want to be stressed for 6 months prior to the event. I want to leave having been able to talk to everyone, eat good food, loosen up enough to dance, and enjoy myself. Other than that, could care less.
  • How do you want to die: Without pain.
  • Where you want to go to college: I went to Judson in Elgin, Illinois. I’m considering going to Hamline for my graduate work.
  • What do you want to be when you grow up: I used to know the answer to this. Amazing how fuzzy things get the older I get.
  • What country would you most like to visit: France, because I can speak the language, it has great history, and I could pretend to be Canadian so they wouldn’t hate me

LAYER NINE:

  • Number of drugs taken illegally: none
  • Number of people I could trust with my life: quite a few
  • Number of CDs that I own: Over 400 (it’s an expensive addition)
  • Number of piercing: ten. I know. My right ear has two on the lobe and one in the cartilage (which always has a small hoop in it). My left ear has three on the lobe and five in the cartilage. I rarely wear more than one or two earrings, though.
  • Number of tattoos: none – I could never decide exactly what I wanted, and since it’s permanent, I thought I’d wait until I could firm up plans
  • Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Twice when I lived in Michigan for the outreach event our church held.
  • Number of scars on my body: One on my left knee when I fell down a flight of stairs staring at a boy, junior year of college. One on my left elbow when I fell in the gravel section of the church parking lot, freshman year of high school, during youth group. Many on my hands and arms from cats.
  • Number of things in my past that I regret: I don’t have any regrets. I like where I am now, and if any of those things were different, I wouldn’t be here today, the person I am today, and that’s a sad thought. So, there are things that definitely could have gone differently, and that would have been a good alternate ending, but I like the unwritten present.

Men and Women

To approximately half of you reading this: I apologize. From my gender to yours, we beg your forgiveness. It’s not our fault we are this way. The good Lord, in his omniscent sense of humor, made us as fundamentally flawed creatures. We are simultaneously weak & agressive, hungry & needy, cunning & stupid. Women, on the other hand, are frighteningly gorgeous.

-from Digging for Goldner (warning – language warranting PG13 rating) [link removed - site no longer exists]

Ok, that is just an absolutely wonderful thing to say! I came to Digging for Goldner via This Fish, who confessed to having a blog crush, which was enough to convince me to check out the link. I think I know where she’s coming from. At any rate, if only more men would feel this way. I take that back – there are probably plenty of men who feel this way. Where are you? Could I meet you? This whole Match.com thing has offered me nothing in the way of anything with potential, and I don’t blame it. It still all hinges on attraction, and no computer program can figure that out.

I do have to say that, while women may be “frighteningly gorgeous,” we are also fundamentally flawed creatures. And need I remind everyone of the time I was in the presence of a man who could only be described as gorgeous, and was unable to speak in complete sentences? Yeah, I thought so. OK, just checked the archives. Apparently I haven’t told that story yet. It’s funny and you get to laugh at me.

Last year before she went to Africa, and I performed at Open Mic a few times at the Coffee Grounds. There’s a group of “regulars” who perform monthly, and then there’s always a few extras. I shouldn’t say for sure – I haven’t been to Open Mic in quite a while, and things could be different. Anyways. One of the old “regulars” was this guy who played the guitar and would just do solo guitar pieces, no vocals, and he was an amazing guitarist. He was also beautiful. And married, and he would talk about his wife frequently. She was in the army. Didn’t stop him from being beautiful, though, nor me from realizing this.

After and I played, he came over to our table to encourage us. I’m sure he was trying to be nice, but I was terribly embarrassed. I was bright red (when nervous I blush from just a little below my shoulders all the way to the top of my head, and I can’t control it, which is even more embarrassing) and he was telling us what a good job we did, and he specifically told me that I had a nice voice. The problem was that, aside from blushing, I was temporarily unable to speak. He was just too cute. That had never happened to me before! They use that a lot on TV sitcoms, where guys can’t talk to the pretty girl and just stammer out unintelligible nothings, but I never thought it was real until it happened to me.

and laughed about that one for a long time. He’s since moved far away (Georgia perhaps?) and no doesn’t have that effect on me anymore. And I have yet to meet another guy since who has had the same effect. Of course, any times I’ve been in the presence of drop-dead gorgeous guys, they haven’t spoken to me. So, it could happen again. There’s something to look forward to.