For me, it’s not a sexual temptation at all.

Not to be holier-than-thou or conceited or even blind to my own humanness - it’s just never been an area I’ve been tempted in. Where I get caught is in emotional entanglements and crushes and things like that. The consequences are huge. I can’t focus on ministry, on God, on what I’m supposed to be doing. Singleness is a gift from God and yet instead of reaping those benefits I drown in the consequences of crushes. God can’t use me if I’m not focusing on Him. I struggle so much in mis-interpreting coed relationships. That’s one of the reasons I wanted a boyfriend or at least a serious prospect here before I go to San Francisco. It doesn’t look like that’s going to happen and that’s OK because God is in control. But, I’m really worried about this summer. Three coworkers in ministry there, male, my age or older. And to me, one of the most attractive things in a guy is passion for ministry and a heart for God. They all have this. It has the potential of ridding me of any effectiveness that I might have and of any changes God may want to do in my life. This is the summer. This is my future. This is the rest of my life. I will not let Satan take that away from me. It’s going to take an act of God, though, just because I know my track record. I’m trusting He’s in control. My job is to focus on Him. Otherwise all is lost.

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