God,

I don’t think I can make it through today. I’m so tired. I could crawl under this desk and sleep forever. My eyes are crossing and everything is blurry. But I’m already at work – you can’t call in sick once you’re there….

popularity: 17%

Through a series of events in my life, I have developed an internal mantra – nothing is permanent; nothing is forever; nothing is “for sure.” Except maybe God. I know, when I pause, that that “maybe” doesn’t belong there. My head decries (?) its presence. But my first instinct is to say “maybe.”

popularity: 16%

(on back of image)

I do not know what God has planned for my future; only that it is to serve Him and please Him to the best of my capabilities. And to do that pleases me. The sun shines upon my life and the flowers bloom, and I can think of nothing better.

popularity: 15%

No date (junior or senior year of high school, probably senior year)

I don’t get homesick. Not from my family at least. And not from my school friends. But I don’t think I can go this long without my church family – my friends, Ray, even the junior highers.

I can’t wait to get out of this place. St Charles in general. I mean NOTHING to this town. If I didn’t exist, nobody would know the difference. My friends would have other friends, somebody else could sufficiently, if not more sufficiently, life my life. At least my St Charles life.

But my Batavia life is a totally different story. They could live without me too, but…

popularity: 15%

No date – junior year of high school (1994-1995)

Dear God–>

There’s no slacking off now.

I wrote you as #1 on my list of priorities. I hope I was telling the truth. I really do. I can’t be for sure, and that worries me. I wish I could be 100% sure that you are #1, but I’m not. Help me make what I said tonight true.

I can’t think of what to say. There’s nothing and everything at the same time.

I’m a worry wart. I worry about everything, it seems. When I worry, help me to realize that you’re going to take care of me. In my head, I know its true, but help me move it from my head to my heart.

The silence is amazing. In this building I find my strength. It calms me, nurtures me, prepares me. And it’s not because of the bricks that hold it together, but because of Your Spirit that is prevalent in all that occurs here.

Be with our D-Team as we talk about priorities tonight. I hope that Evie is feeling comfortable. It seems she is. Help me to be able to respect her authority as I make the transition from leader to student.

popularity: 16%

4/25/1993

Before (reading previous list)

• Working but being home for my kids
• Money to buy the clothes I want
• Being able to talk openly to my parents
• Going out on dates
• Keeping my room clean
• Spring break all the time
• Getting enough sleep
• Eating healthy
• Owning Grandma L’s old house, or the “haunted house” (green) or one of the Cavalcade homes
• Getting a car
• Learning to drive
• Taking courses “just for fun”
• Winning a track race

After

• Straight A’s
• The perfect haircut
• The perfect body that guys lust for
• Braces off
• Gold-wire framed glasses
• Getting a major scholarship
• Go to prom
• Have time for everything

popularity: 16%

7/18/1992

• Lace shoelaces
• Black patent leather hightops
• Chest at wood place (picture)
• Window seat
• Wall knocked down
• TV
• The perfect redecorating job
• Being able to clean my room – and keep it clean
• Honor roll – all A’s
• Kissing a guy before I’m 16
• The perfect haircut
• The perfect body that guys lust for
• Winning a track race
• Me and my friends being popular
• Wire-framed glasses
• “Mo’ money”
• Braces off
• Big house
• Backyard pool
• Jacussi [sic]
• Dress at Carsons - “see through” skirt
• Winning a piano contest
• Winning a science fair
• Singing a solo – and not being afraid
• Getting a major part in a school play
• Eating healthy
• Exersising [sic]
• Learning to drive
• Getting a car
• Getting married
• Adopting kids, or foster care
• Big, brown eyes
• Being an interior decorator
• Being a mother
• Having a curfew
• Scrap book
• Organizing my photo album
• Getting a college scholarship
• Go to ECC, bachelors degree, ‘nother college – masters, docterite [sic]
• Living by my friends
• Go to prom
• Secret admirer
• Guy that gives me roses
• Calling those 1-900 numbers
• Phone in room
• Being braver
• Getting a good job while I’m in high school
• Surviving high school, first day
• No acne
• Be on TV
• Having time for everything

popularity: 15%